Thought for the day…

Whatever obstacles you face today,
I hope they can be solved this easily!

Man plans, God…

Have you ever had just one of those days that no matter which way you turned you ran into some sort of road block? Maybe you've had one of those months' even years? I know I have… I just have to believe that has to be someone or something trying to give you a message or something. More often than not, it seems to me that the prevailing way of living in our Western society is to plan out our lives, both for the long term and on a day-to-day basis.

We have planners and digital calendars that map out our lives, sometimes to the minute. We feel we're in control, with elaborate planning like this. But I think having such elaborate planning is an illusion. Hold on; don't tune me out – yet.

I just don't think we can control our lives to such a finite degree, no matter how we try. Things will always come up to spoil the best-laid plans, and the more detailed our plans the more of a guarantee that something will go wrong.

Then when our plans go afoul? We get stressed out – we stress sometimes to the point of neurosis, because things get out of our control and don't live up to our expectations. After listening to people for 25 plus years, I'm sure that I can relay story after story of how this is one of the greatest sources of stress, disappointment, divorce, etc… for most people.

Think about how often your days actually go according to plan, exactly — it's pretty rare, because we have no way of predicting the future. No matter how hard we try. There's always an email that will disrupt things, a last-minute meeting, cancellations and postponements, emergencies and fires to put out.

So if plans will almost always go wrong, and when they do we get stressed out, isn't all the time we spend creating the plans a bit of a waste?

But what's the alternative? Giving yourself to the moment. This will not work for everyone, I'll admit: there are those who will have a hard time giving up the illusion of control, and others who are controlled by their bosses or peers and cannot work or live this way.

Still, it's something worth considering. Here's how to do it — starting with the don'ts:

1. Don't plan. Planning is an attempt to control the world around us, but it's a futile attempt. Throw out your plans, for now at least until you've decided this method isn't for you. What do you do instead? More on this below. For now, just stop planning.
   
2. Don't worry about the future. Will something bad happen? Are there things coming up that we must anticipate and prepare for? Of course, if there's a massive hurricane headed your way, you should probably get ready. But otherwise, just realize that the future is unpredictable, and worrying about it is a waste of time. Focus on right now, and what you can do right now. You'll always be able to handle what comes.
   
3. Don't have expectations. If you expect people to act a certain way, or hope that things will turn out a certain way, you'll always run into problems. Forget about outcomes for now. Go into things without expectations, and they will always turn out perfectly (if a bit messy).
   
4. Don't get annoyed when others act a certain way. Don't expect people to act any way other than how they actually act. They are exactly the way they should be — even if that's selfish or weird or aggressive. Those are their problems. Your problem is figuring out how you should act. I'd also advise you to try to understand others — why do they act the way they do? (This truly is the mystery of life)
   
5. Don't overreact. This is a major problem when people plan and things go wrong — they overreact, and get upset and emotional and blow things out of proportion. Stay calm, because if things "go wrong", they didn't actually go wrong — they just happened. More on how to react below.
   
6. Don't try to be proactive. This is a common prescription (being proactive) in management and business literature. And while I think the general idea is fine — do something to prevent problems from recurring rather than just fixing them after they happen — one of the problems this creates is always worrying about what might happen. And creating solutions before there are problems — if there never is a problem, you've wasted a lot of time creating the solution, and a lot of energy worrying about the future.
   

And now for the dos:

1. Do be open. What would it be like to go into each day without a concrete, written in stone plan? Try, if nothing else just to see what happens? It will be a bit scary, because of the lack of security and control, a bit chaotic perhaps, a bit like we're a piece of driftwood floating in the middle of a churning sea. But in truth, this is what it's like to go into each day *with* a plan — it's just that we normally fool ourselves about the amount of control we have. So start the day with no plan, and be open to what emerges in each moment.
   
2. Do what you love. So what should you do, now that you have no plan? Do what you're passionate about, do what excites you right now. Create something amazing. Pour yourself energetically into a project. Build something new. And what you think you're creating might turn out to be completely different from what emerges, but you'll have fun doing it and something even better might be revealed.
   
3. Do act, in the moment. Giving yourself to the moment doesn't mean being passive and just letting life happen. It means acting, but doing what is best at this moment, what you are excited about right now, what needs to be done, in the present.
   
4. Do respond appropriately. Life happens, and we must respond. But instead of overreacting, we can respond calmly and appropriately. We can take the action that's required, fix the problem, do what's necessary to prevent it from happening again, and move on without it ruining our day.
   
5. Do accept. Accept what happens. It might not be what you considered ideal, but it's what life has given you, what has resulted from your actions in an unpredictable world. Accept it, respond, act, move on. Don't get caught up in things not going your way, but accept that's what has happened.
   

Again, I not foolish enough to think that this way of living is for everybody. Some people don't have the freedom to live this way, and others just won't give up control. Some will think this is a passive way of living, but it really isn't: it's just a way of living in the moment without being caught up in the future (or the past) so much.

And when we live in the moment, we're really living life to the fullest. This is the gift of the present.

Til' next time…

“B-Boy”

My Thoughts….

OK, some of you have asked me to weigh in on "Balloon Boy" here goes.

Television is no longer a positive influence on our culture, if it ever was at all. It's become a means by which corporate America, bloated and unaccountable, inflicts their version of what American culture should be on the rest of us. That is, we should be a flock of sheep that will stand up on its hind legs and stand in line for whatever product they're selling, in this case bottom of the barrel, low overhead entertainment. It's as true of American Idol as it is for this type of sensationalist "reality". When the cameras are running, all bets are off and the hard sell is on. And the corporations rake in the money, the better to reward their executives. And the news media is part and parcel of this trend. They're selling their own brand of reality-based snake oil. Truth but not the whole truth.

Our media (including the Internet) has created these people and their ceaseless need for camera time. In our age of self-directed voyeurism and an almost across the board lack of shame about putting your personal life on exhibit, this is what our culture has become.

As Garrison Keillor once said about the Baby Boomers, "We are one generation removed from serious people." Well we're a couple of generations removed at this late date and we're getting less and less serious as time goes on. That's why we keep getting taken in, over and over, by dishonest politicians and their corporate ringleaders. We're oblivious.

We have become an embarrassment as a people. We are consumed with the prospect of fame and notice, much like a spoiled immature child that acts out and doesn't know what to do with the attention when they finally get it.

As long as people continue their voyeuristic camping in front of the TV every night, these "idiots" will do what it takes to "achieve" their 15 minutes of fame.

Imagine if there was a loss of life because of resources wasted looking for a boy who never left the ground.

These self-absorbed parents would be culpable for something tangible, and the rage of the American people would manifest itself in a whole other direction.

We ought to focus on preventing this from happening again - and making sure that any media outlet that abets this type of misconduct be made to pay the price along with the offending parties.

My two cents…

Divine Inspiration

I read something this morning that I thought I should share… This is a blog post by Leo Babauta – he has a daily blog called "Zen Habits" and encourages people to share what he has written. I think this is one of those times. The post is entitled, "The Breath of God Inspiration Method" Hope you enjoy.

"For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream." -Vincent van Gogh

The word "inspiration" to some literally means "the breath of God".

Whether you're religious or not, the idea of God or a god or a muse breathing inspiration into the depth of our beings is a beautiful one. Even if the world is naught but a natural miracle, this idea can lift you up, and give you the spark of life to *do* something great.

That's inspiration at its absolute best: not just when it lifts us up, makes us feel good or enthusiastic or excited, but when it *moves* us, when we become so moved that we create something of truth or beauty.

It's an elusive thing, this pure inspiration, something people of all types of creativity seek on a daily basis. Here's one method — a simple method I hope will help you in that everyday search.

It's three simple steps:

• Find something divinely touched.
  
• Breathe in that divine inspiration.
  
• Do. Create. Inspire.
  

 

Let's look at each step in turn.

Step 1. Find something divinely touched.

For this step, I use a loose definition of "divine" … you don't have to be religious to find divinity in something. When Mozart wrote a symphony, or Jobs created the Macbook Air, or a stranger smiles at you, there is divinity in that. There's divinity in a sunset, in every living thing (why I'm a vegan), in a cool breeze on a humid day.

You just need to recognize the inspiration, in whatever form it comes.

Here are my greatest sources of inspiration:

People doing great things.

Things of great beauty.

Nature.

Music.

The written word: books, magazines, blogs.

People in your life.

Love, in any form.

Yourself, doing anything good, no matter how tiny.

 

Step 2. Breathe in that divine inspiration.

Take a slow, deep breath. As the air comes into your mouth or nostrils, through your throat, and fills your lungs, it is bringing divine inspiration into your body.

Repeat. Each inhalation brings with it more inspiration, and each exhalation releases tension.

Step 3. Do. Create. Inspire.

You are now filled with the Breath of God. Take this inspiration and use it, be moved, and do something. Don't just sit there feeling good. Channel that inspiration into creating something amazing.

Put that something out into the world, and in turn, you will inspire others.

"I am convinced that there are universal currents of Divine Thought vibrating the ether everywhere and that any who can feel these vibrations is inspired." -Richard Wagner

Do his words make you take pause and think? If so, I'm glad that was my intent. If not, well…

Til next time…

Not just my 401K?

Seems like making a profit especially on Wall Street seem to be the lead stories of late on all the news cast. Making a profit is defined as an excess of returns over expenses from a transaction. How about when we exercise, is it possible to make a profit?


How can we justify taking time out of our busy day to somehow fit in an exercise session? How can we also justify the energy expense when we are already tired and stressed from our hectic lifestyles? One might wonder if there is something more profitable we could be doing with our time? (other than working for Goldman Sachs?)


When you expend energy, time and money partaking in an exercise program, you do make a profit on your health and wellbeing. The big payoffs that you will reap and enjoy are that you will change and increase your life quality, increasing your health span across your lifespan. That can be broken down into three major areas. Improved physical function, psychological benefits (healthier mental state), and reduction in risk factors associated with disease.


Along with these three major benefits, you will feel and look healthier, have tons of energy, be more self confident, more productive and discover a happier, joyous and fulfilling life.


Higher quality of your life is a reward that no amount of money can buy. This investment (your commitment) that you give to your exercise program becomes even more attractive when you consider there is absolutely no down side risk. You have so much to gain and nothing to lose. This may be the ultimate investment opportunity, how much better could it get, and can you ever remember getting a better offer than this?


Yet why do so many of us fail to act on this extraordinary opportunity by simply choosing to procrastinate or ignore the proven benefits of exercise? The health profits far outweigh the potential expenditure but many cannot see this. Millions of people all over the world have an exercise deficiency, and millions of people are dying from this deficiency. Don't let yourself be one of them.


We all really do know that exercise is good for us, but sometimes our vision gets clouded and we lose track of what is really important. What could be more important than our health? Without vigorous physical activity, there in no way that a person can have a high quality of health right across their lifespan.


Focus constantly on the benefits that exercise can give you. Continually confirm to yourself your decision to get strong, fit, slim and healthy. Remind yourself how great you feel when you finish your exercise sessions and focus on the fact that you are doing it for the right reasons. Say to yourself while you are exercising "I am getting stronger, fitter and slimmer every second I keep going".


Don't question yourself as to whether you really feel like doing it or not, just do it and it will become a habit. Think about how you want your life to be like in the future. Is your health going to be important to you to be able to do all the things you need and wish to do?


There are many tasks or chores we do every single day that we may not like, but are necessary to live a happy and productive life and exercise might well be one of them. But focus on the bigger picture.


People often look to other people to motivate them, but the fact is that lasting motivation comes from within. You are doing something wonderful for yourself. No one else can take care of you in this way. Be your own coach and get yourself going. Exercise is better than money in the bank, make your deposits and become a millionaire.


Til next time…

Drama…

The word "drama" has taken on an interesting meaning in recent years, beyond the performance form of fiction it's traditionally signified: "making a big deal over something unnecessarily".

It's about making a big production of something, when you could simply get on with things.

Interestingly, the word "drama" comes from the Greek word for "action", which in itself derives from a word that means "to do". And doing turns out to be the answer for unnecessary "drama."

What's the problem with drama? For one, as the urban definition implies, it's unnecessary. There's no need for histrionics when you can talk about and deal with things calmly. There's no need to get overly emotional when you can breathe, release the tensions, and focus on being happy, now, in the moment.

It complicates things, makes a big deal of little things, and ignores the little things that should be a big deal: little things like simple pleasures, and gratitude, and the simple wonderful existence of life.

Drama makes life harder. If you lose your job, you can go into a depression (perhaps understandably) and lose your home and have a hard time finding a job again — often because of the depression. But if instead you stay calm, perhaps take the view that this is a fresh start and a way to pursue the dream you've never had the time to pursue, look at it as a way to learn new skills and reinvent yourself … things won't be so hard. (at least that the story I'm sticking too.)

If you have gotten fat, instead of making a big deal about it, go outside for a walk, and make it a simple daily habit (perhaps gradually turning it into a jog). And then just start eating fresher foods — fruits and veggies and beans and nuts — rather than unhealthy foods. Start cooking for yourself instead of eating fast food. The drama will only serve to get you depressed and fatter. Simply getting on with it will solve the problem, rather easily if you don't make a big deal of it.

How to Stop the Drama

So when you feel yourself getting worked up about something — a coworker not pulling his weight, a spouse who isn't living up to your expectations, a son who isn't doing as well at school as you'd like — stop the drama.

Breathe. Let it go. Breathe in, taking in the peace of the world. Breathe out, and let the tensions and frustrations flow out of you. Repeat until the drama is gone.

And then simply be, in the moment, right now. When we get worked up about something, it's usually about something that has already happened (in the past) or something that might happen, that's coming up (in the future). Forget about all that right now (you can reflect on it later, when you're calmer and dispassionate). Right now, focus on what you're doing. This might be sitting in front of a computer, reading. Or walking. Or drinking a glass of water. Washing dishes. Driving. That's what you're doing, in the moment. That's all you should think about. As you feel your mind returning to the past or the future, return it gently to what you're doing right now. Trust me it takes a lot of practice but well worth the effort.

Simply get on with it. Do what you need to do to calmly address the situation. Deal with it, in as simple a manner as possible. Forget all the complications — just do.

Overwhelmed with too much to do? Breathe, focus on what you are doing right now, and just focus on getting that done.

Tired of your horrible job? Breathe, focus on now, and do what needs to be done to deal with it.

Annoyed by someone? Let it go. Focus on what you're doing, right now. And just get on with it.

If you start getting worked up again, start back at the first step.