Quiz Question:
When was the last time you appreciated yourself?!
That's right: YOU. Not your spouse, not your children, or not your boss, co-workers or friends. Just YOU! Seriously, think about it.
Ask yourself: How many times have you succeeded in the past month? The past year? The past 10 years? Are you able to recall your successes as easily as your failures and missteps?
This is not a selfish and egotistical act in the least. By taking the time to stop and appreciate who you are and what you've achieved--and perhaps learned through a few mistakes, stumbles and losses--you actually can enhance everything about you. Self-acknowledgment and -appreciation are what give you the insights and awareness to move forward toward higher goals and accomplishments.
It's been a bit of time huh? Don't forget to think about big and little accomplishments. Many people under-appreciate the minor things they do successfully every day. And yet they can recall in detail all the times they have failed or made mistakes. That's because the brain remembers events more easily when they are accompanied by strong emotions.
For example, you might vividly recall a graduation, losing 10 pounds, having a child, winning an award, or landing a highly sought after position. But see if you can identify just as many minor, more subtle successes, such as your intimate conversation with your spouse or friend last night, the re-connection you established with an estranged love one last month, the quality time you were able to spend with your children today, how you checked off all your list of To Dos for the weekend, how you learned a new task at work, or got your kid to school on time. These may seem like minor acts in the grand scheme of life, but they are what make us feel whole, happy, and accomplished along the journey toward those larger, and much more deeply satisfying moments.
Acknowledging your mistakes also has it pluses, but we often don't have trouble recalling or mulling (SP read ruminate) over those. The point is, if you don't acknowledge your successes the same way you acknowledge your mistakes, you're sure to have a memory full of blunders. And a mind stuffed with negative chatter about the gaffes of life won't fuel your energy, nor your confidence, creativity, and motivation to keep going.
Consider this, too: if you only remember the mistakes and failures, you won't be as ready to take risks that will lead to your successes. Build your self-esteem by recalling all the ways you have succeeded and your brain will be filled with images of you making your achievements happen again and again.
It's OK to give yourself permission to toot your own horn and don't wait for anyone to praise you.
I know it seems so self centered but just try these two suggestions and see what happens over the next week.
First, record your personal history. Take time to write your achievements down - NOT your failures. Start when you were very young and think of all your achievements since then. Don't just pick the major milestones; write down all the things you take for granted. For example, if you list your college degree, write your appreciation for having the opportunity to go to college and forge friendships that will last a lifetime.
You can also create a log of success every day and review it when you are faced with a new challenge. By writing it all down daily, you're securing it in your long-term memory and it will become a part of what makes you tick. It can even become a source of positive reminders and affirmations for when you're feeling down, as well as a personal record of you that becomes your legacy.
Two, celebrate yourself with mementos. Surround yourself with reminders of your successes. Put up pictures, articles, trophies, awards and other pieces that bring your attention to your success. Make your environment speak to you about your achievements. Be proud of them!
By the way, showing appreciation for yourself and accomplishments has many rewards that go far beyond boosting your own self-confidence.
Appreciating yourself is creates a cascading affect--your heightened confidence will spill over into other aspects of your life. Watch what happens when you gain that special trust in yourself. You'll attract opportunities, experience more fulfilling relationships, and have no trouble reaching loftier goals.
Remember, people like to be around those who have a healthy self-esteem and who are achieving their goals. Commit to acknowledging your achievements and your brain will begin to tell you the truth: that you can do anything!
Til next time....
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Saturday, August 30, 2008
stewing and doing....
In a way, human beings behave like bees.
If you place several bees in an open-ended bottle and lay the bottle on its side with the base toward a light source, the bees will repeatedly fly to the bottle bottom toward the light. It never occurs to them to reverse gears and try another direction. This is a combination of genetic programming and learned behavior.
Put a bunch of flies in that bottle and turn the base toward a bright light. Within a few minutes, all the flies will have found their way out. They try all directions – up, down, toward the light, away from the light, often bumping into the glass – but sooner or later they flutter forth into the neck of the bottle and out the opening.
We often allow ourselves to become locked in our present circumstances – even if we are unhappy and really want to be reaching in a new direction. What we're doing may make us miserable, but at least it's familiar.
One of the most important factors in achieving success is the willingness to try things out, to experiment, to test new grounds. In fact, this is the only way to learn and progress: trial, error, feedback, knowledge, trial and success. It is a far better thing to try to succeed and fail, than to do nothing and succeed.
So for this week.... Try it if you don't like the results Change it either way you have to start Doing it. Stop stewing and start doing!
Til next time...
If you place several bees in an open-ended bottle and lay the bottle on its side with the base toward a light source, the bees will repeatedly fly to the bottle bottom toward the light. It never occurs to them to reverse gears and try another direction. This is a combination of genetic programming and learned behavior.
Put a bunch of flies in that bottle and turn the base toward a bright light. Within a few minutes, all the flies will have found their way out. They try all directions – up, down, toward the light, away from the light, often bumping into the glass – but sooner or later they flutter forth into the neck of the bottle and out the opening.
We often allow ourselves to become locked in our present circumstances – even if we are unhappy and really want to be reaching in a new direction. What we're doing may make us miserable, but at least it's familiar.
One of the most important factors in achieving success is the willingness to try things out, to experiment, to test new grounds. In fact, this is the only way to learn and progress: trial, error, feedback, knowledge, trial and success. It is a far better thing to try to succeed and fail, than to do nothing and succeed.
So for this week.... Try it if you don't like the results Change it either way you have to start Doing it. Stop stewing and start doing!
Til next time...
Friday, August 29, 2008
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Life is like a road...
After a week off of work watching olympic performances, resting and just putting things into perspective I feel like life is like a road. There are long and short roads; smooth and rocky roads; crooked and straight paths.
In our life many roads would come our way as we journey through life. There are roads that lead to a life of single blessedness, marriage, and religious vocation. There are also roads that lead to fame and fortune on one hand, or isolation and poverty on the other. There are roads to happiness as there are roads to sadness, roads towards victory and jubilation, and roads leading to defeat and disappointment. Just like any road, there are corners, detours, and crossroads in life. Perhaps the most perplexing road that you would encounter is a crossroad.
With four roads to choose from and with limited knowledge on where they would go, which road will you take? What is the guarantee that we would choose the right one along the way? Would you take any road, or just stay where you are -- in front of a crossroad?
There are no guarantees.
You do not really know where a road will lead you until you take it.
There are no guarantees.
This is one of the most important things you need to realize about life.
Nobody said that choosing to do the right thing all the time would always lead you to happiness. Loving someone with all your heart does not guarantee that it would be returned.
Nor does gaining fame and fortune guarantee happiness. Accepting a good word from an influential superior to cut your trip short up the career ladder is not always bad, especially if you are highly qualified and competent. The point is that there are too many possible outcomes, which you really cannot control, or so it would seem. Know this to be true: the only things you have power over are the decisions that you make, and how you act and react to different situations.
That is a huge relief, actually. It takes the pressure off a bit, yes? So let's take a look at this decision-making thing, and the fears that come up around it. Starting with the fear of making a wrong decision, or a mistake.
Here's what you need to know:There are no mistakes: Wrong decisions are always at hindsight. Had you known that you were making a wrong decision, would you have gone along with it?
Perhaps not.
Why would you choose a certain path when you know it would get you lost?
Why make a certain decision if you knew from the very beginning that it is not the right one?
It is only after you have made a decision and reflected on it that you realize its soundness. If the consequences or outcomes are good for you, then you have decided correctly. Otherwise, your decision was wrong. Or was it? Moreover, what if there was a way you could let go of all of your fear about making decisions? Take that risk: decide!
Often, it is not the end action that creates the most fear; it is the decision to act or not act. Since life offers no guarantees and you would never know that your decision would be wrong until you have made it, then you might as well let go of all of your fear, take the risk, and decide.
It is definitely better than keeping yourself in limbo. Although it is true that one wrong turn could get you seemingly lost, it could also be that such a turn could be an opportunity for an adventure, and even open more fantastic roads. It is all a matter of perspective. You have the choice between being a lost traveler or an accidental tourist of life. You have the choice to let go of your fear of deciding.
One of my mentors in College used to harass us during tennis trips and get on our backsides about becoming and adult. He would usalways say, too much analysis generally ends in paralysis. So are hear are some pointers that he used with us when it came to making life decisions.
5. Get as much information as you can about your situation.You cannot find the confidence to decide when you know so little about what you are faced with. Just like any news reporter, ask the 5 W's: what, who, when, where, and why. What is the situation? Who are the people involved? When did this happen? Where is this leading? Why are you in this situation? These are just some of the possible questions to ask to know more about your situation.
Oftentimes, the reason for indecision is the lack of information about a situation. Now, after all of this exhausting information gathering, ask your mind if it knows these answers. Does it have any? When you discover it doesn't, skip to the Number One Way below.
4. Identify and create options.What options does the situation give you? Sometimes the options are few, and sometimes they are numerous. But what do you do when you think that the situation offers no options? This is the time that you create your own. Make your creative mind work. From the most simplistic to the most complicated, entertain all ideas. Do not shoot anything down when an idea comes to your head. Sometimes the most outrageous idea could prove to be the right one in the end.
You can ask a friend to help you identify options and even make more options if you encounter some difficulty, but make sure that you make the decision yourself in the end. Have you been able to "figure it out yet"? No? When you discover you haven't, simply check out the Number One way below.
3. Weigh the pros and cons of every option. Assess each option by looking at the advantages and disadvantages it offers you. In this way, you get more insights about the consequences of such an option. Now you are getting closer! Skip down to the Number One way below, to discover an incredibly simple technique for doing just this very thing, and then letting it go for good.
2. Trust yourself and make that decision.Or, you could just skip everything and move to the Number One way of overcoming the fear of making any decision, no matter how small:
1. LET GO, LET GO, LET GO. Let go of all of your many complex layers of fear with one simple, all natural way to eliminate and dissolve all negative feelings right on the spot.
You can do it! Now that you have assessed your options, it is now time to trust yourself. Remember that there are no guarantees, and wrong decisions are always at hindsight. So decide to believe that you are choosing the best option at this point in time.
Decide that you are doing the best you can. Be easy on yourself. Do it the easy way, by letting go of your fear of deciding. Whatever you do, remember the most important thing is that you have chosen to live your life instead of remaining a bystander or a passive audience to your own life.
Choose to let of all regrets, whatever the outcome of your decisions. Instead, learn from those experiences, see them as perfect, and remember that you always have the chance to make better decisions in the future. You also have the chance to make the best decision of your life right NOW.
Til next time....
In our life many roads would come our way as we journey through life. There are roads that lead to a life of single blessedness, marriage, and religious vocation. There are also roads that lead to fame and fortune on one hand, or isolation and poverty on the other. There are roads to happiness as there are roads to sadness, roads towards victory and jubilation, and roads leading to defeat and disappointment. Just like any road, there are corners, detours, and crossroads in life. Perhaps the most perplexing road that you would encounter is a crossroad.
With four roads to choose from and with limited knowledge on where they would go, which road will you take? What is the guarantee that we would choose the right one along the way? Would you take any road, or just stay where you are -- in front of a crossroad?
There are no guarantees.
You do not really know where a road will lead you until you take it.
There are no guarantees.
This is one of the most important things you need to realize about life.
Nobody said that choosing to do the right thing all the time would always lead you to happiness. Loving someone with all your heart does not guarantee that it would be returned.
Nor does gaining fame and fortune guarantee happiness. Accepting a good word from an influential superior to cut your trip short up the career ladder is not always bad, especially if you are highly qualified and competent. The point is that there are too many possible outcomes, which you really cannot control, or so it would seem. Know this to be true: the only things you have power over are the decisions that you make, and how you act and react to different situations.
That is a huge relief, actually. It takes the pressure off a bit, yes? So let's take a look at this decision-making thing, and the fears that come up around it. Starting with the fear of making a wrong decision, or a mistake.
Here's what you need to know:There are no mistakes: Wrong decisions are always at hindsight. Had you known that you were making a wrong decision, would you have gone along with it?
Perhaps not.
Why would you choose a certain path when you know it would get you lost?
Why make a certain decision if you knew from the very beginning that it is not the right one?
It is only after you have made a decision and reflected on it that you realize its soundness. If the consequences or outcomes are good for you, then you have decided correctly. Otherwise, your decision was wrong. Or was it? Moreover, what if there was a way you could let go of all of your fear about making decisions? Take that risk: decide!
Often, it is not the end action that creates the most fear; it is the decision to act or not act. Since life offers no guarantees and you would never know that your decision would be wrong until you have made it, then you might as well let go of all of your fear, take the risk, and decide.
It is definitely better than keeping yourself in limbo. Although it is true that one wrong turn could get you seemingly lost, it could also be that such a turn could be an opportunity for an adventure, and even open more fantastic roads. It is all a matter of perspective. You have the choice between being a lost traveler or an accidental tourist of life. You have the choice to let go of your fear of deciding.
One of my mentors in College used to harass us during tennis trips and get on our backsides about becoming and adult. He would usalways say, too much analysis generally ends in paralysis. So are hear are some pointers that he used with us when it came to making life decisions.
5. Get as much information as you can about your situation.You cannot find the confidence to decide when you know so little about what you are faced with. Just like any news reporter, ask the 5 W's: what, who, when, where, and why. What is the situation? Who are the people involved? When did this happen? Where is this leading? Why are you in this situation? These are just some of the possible questions to ask to know more about your situation.
Oftentimes, the reason for indecision is the lack of information about a situation. Now, after all of this exhausting information gathering, ask your mind if it knows these answers. Does it have any? When you discover it doesn't, skip to the Number One Way below.
4. Identify and create options.What options does the situation give you? Sometimes the options are few, and sometimes they are numerous. But what do you do when you think that the situation offers no options? This is the time that you create your own. Make your creative mind work. From the most simplistic to the most complicated, entertain all ideas. Do not shoot anything down when an idea comes to your head. Sometimes the most outrageous idea could prove to be the right one in the end.
You can ask a friend to help you identify options and even make more options if you encounter some difficulty, but make sure that you make the decision yourself in the end. Have you been able to "figure it out yet"? No? When you discover you haven't, simply check out the Number One way below.
3. Weigh the pros and cons of every option. Assess each option by looking at the advantages and disadvantages it offers you. In this way, you get more insights about the consequences of such an option. Now you are getting closer! Skip down to the Number One way below, to discover an incredibly simple technique for doing just this very thing, and then letting it go for good.
2. Trust yourself and make that decision.Or, you could just skip everything and move to the Number One way of overcoming the fear of making any decision, no matter how small:
1. LET GO, LET GO, LET GO. Let go of all of your many complex layers of fear with one simple, all natural way to eliminate and dissolve all negative feelings right on the spot.
You can do it! Now that you have assessed your options, it is now time to trust yourself. Remember that there are no guarantees, and wrong decisions are always at hindsight. So decide to believe that you are choosing the best option at this point in time.
Decide that you are doing the best you can. Be easy on yourself. Do it the easy way, by letting go of your fear of deciding. Whatever you do, remember the most important thing is that you have chosen to live your life instead of remaining a bystander or a passive audience to your own life.
Choose to let of all regrets, whatever the outcome of your decisions. Instead, learn from those experiences, see them as perfect, and remember that you always have the chance to make better decisions in the future. You also have the chance to make the best decision of your life right NOW.
Til next time....
Thursday, August 14, 2008
A perspective on the Milky Way...
Every once in a while I get these weird thoughts that I like to share with anyone who will read them....So try this one on for size.
The Milky Way, our galaxy, the place that our planet Earth calls home, is but the size of a period, in a book, at a library with shelves five stories high in a building as long as a football field (in comparison to the known universe).
(I know a strange analogy, but stay with me for just a little more.)
That notion actually excites me. Really... I mean it! You know why?
Because it brings perspective to a world that has gotten way – and I say way – out of focus.
We sweat the small stuff. We allow it to become our world, our universe and our galaxy, when really, it is just small stuff. But we allow it to become so big that is clouds the very air we breathe, it smothers our vision and – worst of all – it ruins our bodies and stops us from enjoying the world in which we reside for such a short time.
If (comparatively) the Milky Way is the size of a period in a five-hundred-page book in a gargantuan library, how small is the earth? How small is our continent? How tiny is our country, city, town and street?.... And how small is the problem that you are currently facing, the one that has set up camp in your mind, the one that is threatening to ‘do you in’?
How small is it in comparison to what is really out there?
Perhaps you want to make a big change in your life, or you want to grow your business ten fold. The next step seems too big, too grand - perhaps even insurmountable! But how big is it really when compared to the size of the universe. Even loosing fifty pounds or taking your business to the Forbes list (in perspective) would disappear inside a grain of sand on Oak street beach.
What seems hopelessly large, and impossibly difficult, is often tiny. It is just that we allow it to become (in our mind’s eye) much bigger than it actually is. (It is very hard, after all, for the eyes to see clearly what the mind has gotten so out of focus.) If we think it is bigger than it actually is, then it is bigger than it actually is. Real or not, we have made it real with our minds. So a good way to break this cycle is to look at the problem that you are now facing (health, relationship, business) and place it into a true perspective within the bigger picture.
If it is your health that is an issue, and you think your problems are insurmountable, and healing seems a possibility too large to grasp, find an example that is far bigger than yours (universes bigger), one that has already been solved, and use it to spur you on. Be inspired by the likes of Stephen Hawking, who (over four decades ago) was given two years to live by some of the best doctors in the world. Not only did he prove them wrong and survive, but he also went on to shake the very foundations of science with his brilliant insights and discoveries. Read about folk who thought bigger than their depression, bigger than their illness and bigger than their disability - and then went on to complete the most amazing feats of endurance and strength.
If you think that turning over half a million in your business is too big to contemplate, then read about, talk to and visit businesses that are turning over ten million. And if you are already at ten million and want to expand more, then be inspired by a billion. Be inspired by people who grew their conglomerates from a tiny, nurtured seed. Be inspired by people like Richard Branson who started his billion dollar empire with no capital and a phone box for an office.
It works on a global level or on a local level. I used to write an article a month for a magazine. I secretly wanted to write one a week for several magazines but I always felt that writing one really good article a week was a bit too much of a challenge (what with all the other plates I was spinning), until my friend John Thomas told me that he intended to write one article a day for the several blogs and magazines that he regularly contributes content to.
One a day!... Suddenly, one a month seemed lazy and one a week seemed positively achievable.
There are examples out there ready for you to find that will put your problems (or what the Chinese would call ‘opportunities’) into perspective. And when the perspective changes, the world will change with it. What seems massive today will be very manageable tomorrow, and tomorrow’s goals will seem positively minute – perhaps the size of a period in a book of five-hundred pages – compared to what you could be achieving in a year’s time.
Think about it.... Til next time.
The Milky Way, our galaxy, the place that our planet Earth calls home, is but the size of a period, in a book, at a library with shelves five stories high in a building as long as a football field (in comparison to the known universe).
(I know a strange analogy, but stay with me for just a little more.)
That notion actually excites me. Really... I mean it! You know why?
Because it brings perspective to a world that has gotten way – and I say way – out of focus.
We sweat the small stuff. We allow it to become our world, our universe and our galaxy, when really, it is just small stuff. But we allow it to become so big that is clouds the very air we breathe, it smothers our vision and – worst of all – it ruins our bodies and stops us from enjoying the world in which we reside for such a short time.
If (comparatively) the Milky Way is the size of a period in a five-hundred-page book in a gargantuan library, how small is the earth? How small is our continent? How tiny is our country, city, town and street?.... And how small is the problem that you are currently facing, the one that has set up camp in your mind, the one that is threatening to ‘do you in’?
How small is it in comparison to what is really out there?
Perhaps you want to make a big change in your life, or you want to grow your business ten fold. The next step seems too big, too grand - perhaps even insurmountable! But how big is it really when compared to the size of the universe. Even loosing fifty pounds or taking your business to the Forbes list (in perspective) would disappear inside a grain of sand on Oak street beach.
What seems hopelessly large, and impossibly difficult, is often tiny. It is just that we allow it to become (in our mind’s eye) much bigger than it actually is. (It is very hard, after all, for the eyes to see clearly what the mind has gotten so out of focus.) If we think it is bigger than it actually is, then it is bigger than it actually is. Real or not, we have made it real with our minds. So a good way to break this cycle is to look at the problem that you are now facing (health, relationship, business) and place it into a true perspective within the bigger picture.
If it is your health that is an issue, and you think your problems are insurmountable, and healing seems a possibility too large to grasp, find an example that is far bigger than yours (universes bigger), one that has already been solved, and use it to spur you on. Be inspired by the likes of Stephen Hawking, who (over four decades ago) was given two years to live by some of the best doctors in the world. Not only did he prove them wrong and survive, but he also went on to shake the very foundations of science with his brilliant insights and discoveries. Read about folk who thought bigger than their depression, bigger than their illness and bigger than their disability - and then went on to complete the most amazing feats of endurance and strength.
If you think that turning over half a million in your business is too big to contemplate, then read about, talk to and visit businesses that are turning over ten million. And if you are already at ten million and want to expand more, then be inspired by a billion. Be inspired by people who grew their conglomerates from a tiny, nurtured seed. Be inspired by people like Richard Branson who started his billion dollar empire with no capital and a phone box for an office.
It works on a global level or on a local level. I used to write an article a month for a magazine. I secretly wanted to write one a week for several magazines but I always felt that writing one really good article a week was a bit too much of a challenge (what with all the other plates I was spinning), until my friend John Thomas told me that he intended to write one article a day for the several blogs and magazines that he regularly contributes content to.
One a day!... Suddenly, one a month seemed lazy and one a week seemed positively achievable.
There are examples out there ready for you to find that will put your problems (or what the Chinese would call ‘opportunities’) into perspective. And when the perspective changes, the world will change with it. What seems massive today will be very manageable tomorrow, and tomorrow’s goals will seem positively minute – perhaps the size of a period in a book of five-hundred pages – compared to what you could be achieving in a year’s time.
Think about it.... Til next time.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Two thoughts.....
I've got two thoughts tonight for you to ponder.
The first...
Try NOT to take for granted the time you have with family and friends.
This past weekend, I had the opportunity to visit with family and friends that I hadn't seen in many a moon - actually some of the folks I hadn't seen in more than 10 years.
When I returned home I had a voice mail informing me a friend of mine had been in a car accident and may not make it. We usually don't think about those things as we muddle through life, but so much can happen in the blink of an eye. We tend to take the time we have with family and friends for granted - especially if they are not sick - and think that those we love and enjoy being around will be there all the time.
I think it is our nature to assume will be able to complete those conversations we started next time. That down the road, in the future I'll make sure that I say this or that... Truth is that the things you forgot to say could suddenly be lost and never said. This weekend I was blessed and had the chance to say those things with family - I had a second chance, next time I may not be so lucky.
So - let me step up on my soap box here - make sure you tell the people you love that you love them, hug those who need hugs and don't hold back. You'll never know if you'll have that second chance to say what needs to be said..... OK, I'm stepping down now.
The second thought.
If you've been tuning into the Olympics, you probably saw Michael Phelps win his third gold medal in the 200 meter freestyle this evening. And WOW he won by nearly TWO seconds - Two seconds is huge and what a a statement he made to the world! The other competitors looked like they were in a coma just after the race not wanting to believe they just got smoked.
I know the feeling - and yes, it does hurt.
As a result, Michael Phelps dream for EIGHT Gold medals in one Olympiad is still alive. I just saw a quote from Howard Schultz of Starbucks fame: "Who wants a dream that's near-fetched?" How true...
Yet, in Phelps case, his dream isn't looking as far-fetched as others once thought. One thing is for certain, the man is focused like a laser beam. And this level of focus does not come from lack of practice.
In fact, from age 12-17, Phelps didn't miss a day of practice. Not one. Regardless of the occasion. How many people can say that - about anything. When you look at Phelps you don't just see a physical being who is in peak condition - you see the mind set of a man who refuses to let anyone else talk him out of his dreams.
After he reads negative publicity saying "he can't do it" - Phelps clips out the article and puts it in his locker for inspiration. This is far better than listening to and believing your critics. Why not take their negativity and turn it into rocket fuel.
I think it is a better use of your time and energy.... Til next time.
The first...
Try NOT to take for granted the time you have with family and friends.
This past weekend, I had the opportunity to visit with family and friends that I hadn't seen in many a moon - actually some of the folks I hadn't seen in more than 10 years.
When I returned home I had a voice mail informing me a friend of mine had been in a car accident and may not make it. We usually don't think about those things as we muddle through life, but so much can happen in the blink of an eye. We tend to take the time we have with family and friends for granted - especially if they are not sick - and think that those we love and enjoy being around will be there all the time.
I think it is our nature to assume will be able to complete those conversations we started next time. That down the road, in the future I'll make sure that I say this or that... Truth is that the things you forgot to say could suddenly be lost and never said. This weekend I was blessed and had the chance to say those things with family - I had a second chance, next time I may not be so lucky.
So - let me step up on my soap box here - make sure you tell the people you love that you love them, hug those who need hugs and don't hold back. You'll never know if you'll have that second chance to say what needs to be said..... OK, I'm stepping down now.
The second thought.
If you've been tuning into the Olympics, you probably saw Michael Phelps win his third gold medal in the 200 meter freestyle this evening. And WOW he won by nearly TWO seconds - Two seconds is huge and what a a statement he made to the world! The other competitors looked like they were in a coma just after the race not wanting to believe they just got smoked.
I know the feeling - and yes, it does hurt.
As a result, Michael Phelps dream for EIGHT Gold medals in one Olympiad is still alive. I just saw a quote from Howard Schultz of Starbucks fame: "Who wants a dream that's near-fetched?" How true...
Yet, in Phelps case, his dream isn't looking as far-fetched as others once thought. One thing is for certain, the man is focused like a laser beam. And this level of focus does not come from lack of practice.
In fact, from age 12-17, Phelps didn't miss a day of practice. Not one. Regardless of the occasion. How many people can say that - about anything. When you look at Phelps you don't just see a physical being who is in peak condition - you see the mind set of a man who refuses to let anyone else talk him out of his dreams.
After he reads negative publicity saying "he can't do it" - Phelps clips out the article and puts it in his locker for inspiration. This is far better than listening to and believing your critics. Why not take their negativity and turn it into rocket fuel.
I think it is a better use of your time and energy.... Til next time.
Friday, July 25, 2008
The AM news.....
Today I got the unfortunate news on my AM radio that Professor, Randy Pausch died.
I didn't pay much attention to the report, since my mind was on the various tortures that I had planned for some unsuspecting clients...but almost eveyone who entered the gym today asked if I had heard the news about Dr. Pausch. (I'll get back to that thought in a minute)
With months to live, Pausch gave his famous “Last Lecture” at CMU in September 2007. There's an academic tradition called the 'Last Lecture.' at Carnegie Mellon. Professors give it before they retire. Randy knew, after his diagnosis, that he wanted to give his own final lecture on "Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams" .
He would talk about his life's journey and the lessons he's learned along the way. Although he gave this talk to his students, it was always with the intent of leaving the video-taped lecture, as his own final legacy, for his three small children. That September 18, 2007 lecture before 400 people at Carnegie Mellon University was complete with slides of his CT scans and a description of the cancer that was devouring his pancreas and that would most likely claim in his life in a matter of months.
Randy Pausch's 'Last Lecture" was video-taped and ended up on the Internet where it has since been downloaded more than 6 million times. Randy Pausch ended up being on You Tube, and on the Oprah Show,where he reprised his "Last Lecture".
He was also featured on an ABC special called "The Last Lecture: A Love Story for Your Life" where the family formed a strong link with ABC news reporter, Diane Sawyer. This amazing man and his overwhelmingly inspirational speech has reached, touched and exploded 10 million hearts and at least six of my clients today.
He didn't just give a speech about achieving childhood dreams, or living your life, or what you would do if you were told that you only had six months left to live." No, it was much more than that, he gave us the ability to hope and dream. To shift our attention from the cards that were delt to us to how we might best play our hand.
I know in my own experience with teaching and lecturing, that sometimes you have to pull the subject matter out of yourself, and there are other times, where the information just pour out. You passion is just all over it, that is what was so captivating about his "last lecture". Randy's talk may have written itself, but it was a final accomplishment to put that talk into book form. The entire, original transcript of Professor Randy Pausch, of Carnegie Mellon University and his unforgettable speech "The Last Lecture" delivered on Sept. 18, 2007 is on YouTube. If you haven't seen it by now, go to YouTube and search for it, it is a 70 minuites well spent.
Randy had reported, as of May 28th, that the latest round of chemo created debilitating side effects and was discontinued. Previously, Randy has been involved in a number of experimental drug trials and each time, the side effects and the drugs, themselves, have created such extreme problems that they have had to all be discontinued.
Randy and his wife, Jai attended the graduation ceremonies for the May, 2008 graduating class at Carnegie Mellon. Randy presented a copy of his book "The Last Lecture" to Al Gore during the commencement ceremonies and was honored with his 'giving of the charge' at the end of the ceremonies to the young students there that day. View here: YouTube - Randy Pausch Inspires Graduates (This is definately worth the six minutes of your time.)
Pausch was included in TIME Magazine's 2008 list of the world's 100 most influential people. If you view his lecture or read his book, you'll understand why.
When asked about his hopes for the book, a book which continues to be on the bestseller list today, Randy said "I only care about the first three copies." (meaning as a legacy for his 3 children, ages 2,4, and 6.)
Randy Pausch knew he was going to die, but that didn't stop him from truly living, his greatest belief was 'in having fun' in truly 'living your life to the fullest.' Randy was given 6 monthes and managed to stretch out that time span into almost 2 years.
He died, as he lived, doing all he could do to live his life to the fullest, to leaving a legacy of memories behind for his loved ones and for inspiring others...not just in a classroom at Carnegie Mellon, but in places all over the world. As he said in an interview: "I'm pleased to do what good I can on the way 'out of the building'".
Raise awareness he has. Who am I to tell you what to think about. But if you have some loving thoughts please direct them in the direction of his wife, Jai, and their three young children...Dylan, Logan , and Chloe.
But the most important lesson... start really living life TODAY!
Til next time...
I didn't pay much attention to the report, since my mind was on the various tortures that I had planned for some unsuspecting clients...but almost eveyone who entered the gym today asked if I had heard the news about Dr. Pausch. (I'll get back to that thought in a minute)
With months to live, Pausch gave his famous “Last Lecture” at CMU in September 2007. There's an academic tradition called the 'Last Lecture.' at Carnegie Mellon. Professors give it before they retire. Randy knew, after his diagnosis, that he wanted to give his own final lecture on "Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams" .
He would talk about his life's journey and the lessons he's learned along the way. Although he gave this talk to his students, it was always with the intent of leaving the video-taped lecture, as his own final legacy, for his three small children. That September 18, 2007 lecture before 400 people at Carnegie Mellon University was complete with slides of his CT scans and a description of the cancer that was devouring his pancreas and that would most likely claim in his life in a matter of months.
Randy Pausch's 'Last Lecture" was video-taped and ended up on the Internet where it has since been downloaded more than 6 million times. Randy Pausch ended up being on You Tube, and on the Oprah Show,where he reprised his "Last Lecture".
He was also featured on an ABC special called "The Last Lecture: A Love Story for Your Life" where the family formed a strong link with ABC news reporter, Diane Sawyer. This amazing man and his overwhelmingly inspirational speech has reached, touched and exploded 10 million hearts and at least six of my clients today.
He didn't just give a speech about achieving childhood dreams, or living your life, or what you would do if you were told that you only had six months left to live." No, it was much more than that, he gave us the ability to hope and dream. To shift our attention from the cards that were delt to us to how we might best play our hand.
I know in my own experience with teaching and lecturing, that sometimes you have to pull the subject matter out of yourself, and there are other times, where the information just pour out. You passion is just all over it, that is what was so captivating about his "last lecture". Randy's talk may have written itself, but it was a final accomplishment to put that talk into book form. The entire, original transcript of Professor Randy Pausch, of Carnegie Mellon University and his unforgettable speech "The Last Lecture" delivered on Sept. 18, 2007 is on YouTube. If you haven't seen it by now, go to YouTube and search for it, it is a 70 minuites well spent.
Randy had reported, as of May 28th, that the latest round of chemo created debilitating side effects and was discontinued. Previously, Randy has been involved in a number of experimental drug trials and each time, the side effects and the drugs, themselves, have created such extreme problems that they have had to all be discontinued.
Randy and his wife, Jai attended the graduation ceremonies for the May, 2008 graduating class at Carnegie Mellon. Randy presented a copy of his book "The Last Lecture" to Al Gore during the commencement ceremonies and was honored with his 'giving of the charge' at the end of the ceremonies to the young students there that day. View here: YouTube - Randy Pausch Inspires Graduates (This is definately worth the six minutes of your time.)
Pausch was included in TIME Magazine's 2008 list of the world's 100 most influential people. If you view his lecture or read his book, you'll understand why.
When asked about his hopes for the book, a book which continues to be on the bestseller list today, Randy said "I only care about the first three copies." (meaning as a legacy for his 3 children, ages 2,4, and 6.)
Randy Pausch knew he was going to die, but that didn't stop him from truly living, his greatest belief was 'in having fun' in truly 'living your life to the fullest.' Randy was given 6 monthes and managed to stretch out that time span into almost 2 years.
He died, as he lived, doing all he could do to live his life to the fullest, to leaving a legacy of memories behind for his loved ones and for inspiring others...not just in a classroom at Carnegie Mellon, but in places all over the world. As he said in an interview: "I'm pleased to do what good I can on the way 'out of the building'".
Raise awareness he has. Who am I to tell you what to think about. But if you have some loving thoughts please direct them in the direction of his wife, Jai, and their three young children...Dylan, Logan , and Chloe.
But the most important lesson... start really living life TODAY!
Til next time...
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Problems bring lessons? sh**.....
James Allen once wrote...."
As a progressive and evolving being, man is where he is that he may learn that he may grow; and as he learns the spiritual lesson which any circumstance contains for him, it passes away and gives place to other circumstances."
But as I look back at my life, it is easy to see that the times when my wisdom and understanding grew to new levels; those times when I approached becoming the person I long to be, were always after some pretty rough times.
The greatest growth you're going to have is going to come from the negative circumstance you have today that sometimes seems too overwhelming or too big to scale.
In the Byways of Blessedness by James Allen he suggests that there we should embrace our circumstances. "Let a person rejoice when he is confronted with obstacles, for it means that he has reached the end of some particular line of indifference or folly, and is now called upon to summon up all his energy and intelligence in order to extricate himself, and to find a better way; that the powers within him are crying out for greater freedom, for enlarged exercise and scope."
Easy for him to write.... really hard to do. But what I have found is that no situation can be difficult of itself; more that it is the lack of insight into its intricacies, and the want of wisdom in dealing with it, which give rise to the difficulty.
Maybe that explains why it sometimes seems that I can't shake a particular problem, or I have one that keeps rearing its ugly head. Perhaps instead of fighting it, we need to jump in and gain the insight and wisdom to handle it. Then it would be gone, and we would be ready for the next lesson -- only stronger, both in spirit and in wisdom!
Well if nothing else it might be worth thinking about.
Til next time....
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Oh my abs!
Alright I'm aggravated at my profession again, well actually it not my profession, it folks who want to capitalize on people who are unhappy. See, these predators are preying on certain emotional triggers to have healthy ( I use that loosely) people waste their money on their waist.
Of course the thunder storm that woke me out of a sound sleep may have some influence on the tone on this post - but lets not get ahead of ourselves. Besides, getting woke out of a sound sleep is good for a fitness professional - you get to see the latest "fitness" infomercials that you will get questions about the following day.
The Countour! The newest, latest, bestest, great way to loose inches off your waist without doing anything?
Aha! I found the answer!
Oh.... reality hits. Sometimes insomnia is good for a fitness professional. This latest infomercial was on electronic muscle stimulators. I guess they are the the hottest fad... but you want to know "do they really work!" Right?
To answer that question, let’s start with a little background information on what this equipment was originally designed for. Electric ab stimulators were (and still are) used in medical rehab situations. They are designed to keep muscles from atrophying (wasting away) in situations where a limb must be immobilized. For example, if you broke your leg, the doctor could place an electrode on the muscle and use electricity to make it contract. This would provide a minimum level of stimulation, thus keeping the muscle active.
As far as building muscle, (TV ads claim) about forty years of research says NO. The level of electrical stimulation necessary to build up the abdominal muscles to what you see on TV would be extremely high, and painful.
Many companies that sell these belts also claim that the belts help burn fat. In reality, the small muscle contractions produced by these belts burn about as many calories as the effort required to take the belt out of the box and put the batteries in.
If you read the fine print in these ads, you will also notice that the instructions for use also include a suggested exercise and nutrition plan. This, without a doubt, would be the true source of the results people get from this equipment.
But what about people you may know who have tried the belts and say that they feel something when they use it? Let’s put it this way... the belt does provide a small level of stimulation to the abdominal muscles. When a person’s abs are totally lacking any form of stimulation, any amount of stimulation has the potential to produce results. It is simply a matter of something is better than nothing (in this case, not a whole lot better, though).
A much better solution for working your abdominal muscles effectively is to do the unglamorous core exercises. It may not send electric shocks into your guts but it will get the job done. Even crunches done properly and regularly, won’t burn fat but they will definitely tighten up your abs.
Do electric ab stimulators work? In a nutshell, no. These companies are simply preying upon society’s desire for results without effort. Don’t be fooled by the hype.
Now its time for a nap..... Til next time.
Of course the thunder storm that woke me out of a sound sleep may have some influence on the tone on this post - but lets not get ahead of ourselves. Besides, getting woke out of a sound sleep is good for a fitness professional - you get to see the latest "fitness" infomercials that you will get questions about the following day.
The Countour! The newest, latest, bestest, great way to loose inches off your waist without doing anything?
Aha! I found the answer!
Oh.... reality hits. Sometimes insomnia is good for a fitness professional. This latest infomercial was on electronic muscle stimulators. I guess they are the the hottest fad... but you want to know "do they really work!" Right?
To answer that question, let’s start with a little background information on what this equipment was originally designed for. Electric ab stimulators were (and still are) used in medical rehab situations. They are designed to keep muscles from atrophying (wasting away) in situations where a limb must be immobilized. For example, if you broke your leg, the doctor could place an electrode on the muscle and use electricity to make it contract. This would provide a minimum level of stimulation, thus keeping the muscle active.
As far as building muscle, (TV ads claim) about forty years of research says NO. The level of electrical stimulation necessary to build up the abdominal muscles to what you see on TV would be extremely high, and painful.
Many companies that sell these belts also claim that the belts help burn fat. In reality, the small muscle contractions produced by these belts burn about as many calories as the effort required to take the belt out of the box and put the batteries in.
If you read the fine print in these ads, you will also notice that the instructions for use also include a suggested exercise and nutrition plan. This, without a doubt, would be the true source of the results people get from this equipment.
But what about people you may know who have tried the belts and say that they feel something when they use it? Let’s put it this way... the belt does provide a small level of stimulation to the abdominal muscles. When a person’s abs are totally lacking any form of stimulation, any amount of stimulation has the potential to produce results. It is simply a matter of something is better than nothing (in this case, not a whole lot better, though).
A much better solution for working your abdominal muscles effectively is to do the unglamorous core exercises. It may not send electric shocks into your guts but it will get the job done. Even crunches done properly and regularly, won’t burn fat but they will definitely tighten up your abs.
Do electric ab stimulators work? In a nutshell, no. These companies are simply preying upon society’s desire for results without effort. Don’t be fooled by the hype.
Now its time for a nap..... Til next time.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Oh say can you....
I'm fortunate enough to live in an area and sitting high enough on a balcony to view fireworks displays in every direction. And as funny as it sounds or reads in this case, the lyrics of Fances Scott Key dropped into my head...
I started thinking about all the those who have not been as fortunate as I. Those who have not been given the same opportunities because they did not live in this county, those who do not enjoy the same freedoms we take for granted. Simple things like fresh water, abundant food and shelter are things that we tend to whine about rather than be grateful for.
No doubt the economy is a challenge, taxes are up, and costs continue to rise, but what about those who have no economy to complain about, who do not even think about the price of gas, because it is so out of their reality it does not compute. People who scrounge for food, or have never ridden in the comfort of an automobile.
This week not only marks the birthday of a country that allows us more opportunities than we can comprehend, but it also marks the halfway point of the year. Are you doing what you can? Have you really taken advantage of the opportunities that have been availed to you? Or are you just coasting?
The entire first half of 2008 has already passed- there are now only six months to 2009.
How are those New Year's Resolutions looking now?
Are you on track with your goals?
If you wanted to lose 20lbs this year - are you down 10lbs already?
If your goal was to do 250 workouts - have you completed 125 ?
IF you wanted to make $10,000 more this year -- are you on track?
It's amazing how time passes so quickly.
Noticing the group of sailors that are passing below my balcony and headed to the local fourth of July celebration reminds me that life can turn quickly. These sailors will soon graduate from Great Lakes Navel Training Station and head somewhere to protect our freedoms. The challenges that they may face in this upcoming year remind me that we should not waste a single second.
If we do, not only do we take for granted the opportunities that our forefathers fought for us. But we also disrespect those who protect our freedoms now. I know how easy It is to get disappointed in our lack of progress and give up. But if those who fought for us today and those who created our country before us did that same thing what kind of country would we be living in today?
So I ask that you look at your life over this holiday weekend and be honest with yourself. Ask yourself one simple question... Have you done everything you could?
If your goal is fat loss- start today
If your goal is muscle building - start today
If your goal is (insert anything here) - start TODAY !
If you're just a little behind -- adjust your plan - make up for it!
50% of this year is gone forever. Will you make changes TODAY or will another 25% pass, then another 50% -- and before you know it -- it's 2009.....
I meet a lot of people in my line of work, and most will tell me "this" is going wrong or "that" could be better, or that they wish they could do this, or that.... (I'm not just talking about personal training clients, I'm talking about fellow peers, employees, athletes even family members)
But very few people actually measure and take stock of their efforts. If you are following a plan to lose or gain X - are you actually gaining or loosing X? And are you doing it at a rate that is acceptable for your efforts? Or are you blindly following a plan that doesn't work, and essentially ignoring that?
Do you track the progress towards your goals and measure them. Or do you hide from the data and "forget" to track your results?
If you remember "SMART" goal setting -(specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely)- one of the keys is 'M' - Measurable. Measure your results.
As we enter the second half of 2008, don't you think it's time to take stock of your efforts? Has your current return been worth the investment? 50% of this year is gone forever. Will you make changes TODAY or will another six months pass, then another six -- and before you know it -- it's Summer 2009.....
Please don't waste a single second.
Start TODAY.
Where will you be at the 75% point on October 1st ? That's only 13 weeks away. Will you be 13 weeks leaner, 13 weeks richer, 13 weeks smarter? -
No matter what, I do know one thing, that the time will pass anyway.... Now it is time for me to buy these sailors a drink and say thank you.
Happy Holiday.
Til next time...
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air, Gave proof thro' the night that our flag was still there...Perhaps its my sense of mortality, or the notion, that I should pass something of value on to my son but lately, I have been much more appreciative of the opportunities that have fallen my way. I notice that I am not taking for granted that I live in a country, where even a personal trainer/tennis pro can earn enough to live in a nice home, enjoy cable TV and be safe.
I started thinking about all the those who have not been as fortunate as I. Those who have not been given the same opportunities because they did not live in this county, those who do not enjoy the same freedoms we take for granted. Simple things like fresh water, abundant food and shelter are things that we tend to whine about rather than be grateful for.
No doubt the economy is a challenge, taxes are up, and costs continue to rise, but what about those who have no economy to complain about, who do not even think about the price of gas, because it is so out of their reality it does not compute. People who scrounge for food, or have never ridden in the comfort of an automobile.
O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave...O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?
This week not only marks the birthday of a country that allows us more opportunities than we can comprehend, but it also marks the halfway point of the year. Are you doing what you can? Have you really taken advantage of the opportunities that have been availed to you? Or are you just coasting?
The entire first half of 2008 has already passed- there are now only six months to 2009.
How are those New Year's Resolutions looking now?
Are you on track with your goals?
If you wanted to lose 20lbs this year - are you down 10lbs already?
If your goal was to do 250 workouts - have you completed 125 ?
IF you wanted to make $10,000 more this year -- are you on track?
It's amazing how time passes so quickly.
Noticing the group of sailors that are passing below my balcony and headed to the local fourth of July celebration reminds me that life can turn quickly. These sailors will soon graduate from Great Lakes Navel Training Station and head somewhere to protect our freedoms. The challenges that they may face in this upcoming year remind me that we should not waste a single second.
If we do, not only do we take for granted the opportunities that our forefathers fought for us. But we also disrespect those who protect our freedoms now. I know how easy It is to get disappointed in our lack of progress and give up. But if those who fought for us today and those who created our country before us did that same thing what kind of country would we be living in today?
So I ask that you look at your life over this holiday weekend and be honest with yourself. Ask yourself one simple question... Have you done everything you could?
If your goal is fat loss- start today
If your goal is muscle building - start today
If your goal is (insert anything here) - start TODAY !
If you're just a little behind -- adjust your plan - make up for it!
50% of this year is gone forever. Will you make changes TODAY or will another 25% pass, then another 50% -- and before you know it -- it's 2009.....
I meet a lot of people in my line of work, and most will tell me "this" is going wrong or "that" could be better, or that they wish they could do this, or that.... (I'm not just talking about personal training clients, I'm talking about fellow peers, employees, athletes even family members)
But very few people actually measure and take stock of their efforts. If you are following a plan to lose or gain X - are you actually gaining or loosing X? And are you doing it at a rate that is acceptable for your efforts? Or are you blindly following a plan that doesn't work, and essentially ignoring that?
Do you track the progress towards your goals and measure them. Or do you hide from the data and "forget" to track your results?
If you remember "SMART" goal setting -(specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely)- one of the keys is 'M' - Measurable. Measure your results.
As we enter the second half of 2008, don't you think it's time to take stock of your efforts? Has your current return been worth the investment? 50% of this year is gone forever. Will you make changes TODAY or will another six months pass, then another six -- and before you know it -- it's Summer 2009.....
Please don't waste a single second.
Start TODAY.
Where will you be at the 75% point on October 1st ? That's only 13 weeks away. Will you be 13 weeks leaner, 13 weeks richer, 13 weeks smarter? -
No matter what, I do know one thing, that the time will pass anyway.... Now it is time for me to buy these sailors a drink and say thank you.
Happy Holiday.
Til next time...
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Vacations...what are those?
I just looked at my check stub and realized that I am getting close to maxing out on vacation days...that got me thinking.
I used to be really good at being a "Vacaton McSlacker" and could at one time, take more than my fair share of days off--but lately I haven't been good at making time for myself. I can see I'm going to have to step it up, if not for me, then to bring up the national average. Because a vacation poll from a couple of months ago said that fewer Americans than ever are planning to take summer vacations in 2008--only a third!
The New York Times was talking about the depressing phenomenon of "shrinking vacation syndrome" a couple of years ago. A typical quote, by a AAA spokesman: "The idea of somebody going away for two weeks is really becoming a thing of the past. It’s kind of sad, really, that people can’t seem to leave their jobs anymore."
Another vacation survey from a year ago found that more than half of the employees polled did not use all of their vacation. There seem to be two issues here: the inability to take much time off work, and the expense and difficulty of traveling anywhere when such precious time is actually secured. Maybe I should just mix these two entirely different problems together because it's easier to pretend it's all one issue!
But anyway, the net result is: Hardly anyone seems to be able to "get away from it all" anymore. It is my official position that This Is Just Wrong!!
This "shrinking vacation" thing sucks for many reasons, but one of them is actually related to the supposed topic of this blog: It is apparently unhealthy not to take vacations! For example, researchers looking at the Frammington heart study found that women who took a vacation every six years or less were almost eight times more likely to develop heart problems than those who took at least two vacations a year. (And they controlled for other factors like obesity, diabetes, smoking and income).
And another study of men at high risk for heart disease also found that those who failed to take annual vacations were more likely to die of a heart attack. So quick, go to your boss and demand that you be released immediately! If your boss says no, simply lie down on the floor and have a heart attack. That'll show 'em!...NO not really. Time spent away from work but hooked up to machines in the Intensive Care Unit might not be quite as relaxing as a week at the beach.
But even if you can manage to take a vacation without threatening cardiac arrest, it may not even help you recuperate if you don't take the right kind.
A survey of managers found that a quarter of them returned from vacation more stressed than when they left, (I know that feeling!) with a third having spent at least part of their break checking in with the office, often every day. And according to Dov Eden, an organizational psychologist who has studied the issue "those who are electronically hooked up to their office, even if they are lying on the Riviera, are less likely to receive the real benefits of a vacation and more likely to burn out."
Another earlier study looked at "health-related vacation outcome" Despite the dry language, the conclusions were kinda interesting:"Recuperation" was facilitated by:
Free time for one's self;
Warmer (and sunnier) vacation locations;
Exercise during vacation;
Good sleep; and
Making new acquaintances
Duh.... I hate when someone says that too me. sorry.
Exhaustion was increased by:
Vacation-related health problems, and
A greater time-zone difference to home.
The only tips I have for less stressful vacations are either pretty obvious or possibly not too practical. But what the hell:
Don't go somewhere to impress others; go somewhere you're excited about. It could be camping in your local park or something more exotic. But the further away it is, the more time you need to allow to enjoy it without stress. Those "if it's Tuesday it must be Belgium" vacations are seldom relaxing.
And along those lines, don't schedule every single minute with activities. Chill, dude.
Don't have kids. Or if it's too late for that, figure out how to get at least some time away from them.
Do lots of fun vacation-related exercise--hiking, swimming, biking etc, but leave your ambitious workout plans at home.
Ditch your loved ones. Don't feel like you and your spouse/friend/family have to do the same thing all the time--constant compromise can be frustrating. If Beloved Husband wants to tour the dusty old Train Museum or spend all day on a boat drinking beer "fishing," and you'd rather shop the boutiques, split up for God's sake. You can catch up at dinner.
Find a tour group. On the other hand, are you single and can't round up a friend with the same schedule or interests? Don't let that keep you at home. Tours have gotten a lot less "touristy" these days and are no longer just for the blue-hair set. The Internet is your friend--spend a few minutes with Google and I know you will turn up lots of options.
If you can't stay off your office email, stay somewhere without Internet access. Even if it means (sniff) no larryespinoza.blogspot.com for the duration.
Get some sleep. Arrange to have any noisy or obnoxious hotel neighbors arrested or intimidated by local thugs. Failing that, at least complain to hotel management with the hopes that they may do something about it or get you another room.
Come back home a day or two early. Don't wait until the last minute before you have to go back to work. Nothing will erase a relaxing vacation faster than stack of unopened mail, a mountain of chores, a pile of stinky laundry two stories high and no time to deal with any of it.
Well heck, you tell me! (You guys are much better at this stuff).
Til next time....
I used to be really good at being a "Vacaton McSlacker" and could at one time, take more than my fair share of days off--but lately I haven't been good at making time for myself. I can see I'm going to have to step it up, if not for me, then to bring up the national average. Because a vacation poll from a couple of months ago said that fewer Americans than ever are planning to take summer vacations in 2008--only a third!
The New York Times was talking about the depressing phenomenon of "shrinking vacation syndrome" a couple of years ago. A typical quote, by a AAA spokesman: "The idea of somebody going away for two weeks is really becoming a thing of the past. It’s kind of sad, really, that people can’t seem to leave their jobs anymore."
Another vacation survey from a year ago found that more than half of the employees polled did not use all of their vacation. There seem to be two issues here: the inability to take much time off work, and the expense and difficulty of traveling anywhere when such precious time is actually secured. Maybe I should just mix these two entirely different problems together because it's easier to pretend it's all one issue!
But anyway, the net result is: Hardly anyone seems to be able to "get away from it all" anymore. It is my official position that This Is Just Wrong!!
This "shrinking vacation" thing sucks for many reasons, but one of them is actually related to the supposed topic of this blog: It is apparently unhealthy not to take vacations! For example, researchers looking at the Frammington heart study found that women who took a vacation every six years or less were almost eight times more likely to develop heart problems than those who took at least two vacations a year. (And they controlled for other factors like obesity, diabetes, smoking and income).
And another study of men at high risk for heart disease also found that those who failed to take annual vacations were more likely to die of a heart attack. So quick, go to your boss and demand that you be released immediately! If your boss says no, simply lie down on the floor and have a heart attack. That'll show 'em!...NO not really. Time spent away from work but hooked up to machines in the Intensive Care Unit might not be quite as relaxing as a week at the beach.
But even if you can manage to take a vacation without threatening cardiac arrest, it may not even help you recuperate if you don't take the right kind.
A survey of managers found that a quarter of them returned from vacation more stressed than when they left, (I know that feeling!) with a third having spent at least part of their break checking in with the office, often every day. And according to Dov Eden, an organizational psychologist who has studied the issue "those who are electronically hooked up to their office, even if they are lying on the Riviera, are less likely to receive the real benefits of a vacation and more likely to burn out."
Another earlier study looked at "health-related vacation outcome" Despite the dry language, the conclusions were kinda interesting:"Recuperation" was facilitated by:
Free time for one's self;
Warmer (and sunnier) vacation locations;
Exercise during vacation;
Good sleep; and
Making new acquaintances
Duh.... I hate when someone says that too me. sorry.
Exhaustion was increased by:
Vacation-related health problems, and
A greater time-zone difference to home.
The only tips I have for less stressful vacations are either pretty obvious or possibly not too practical. But what the hell:
Don't go somewhere to impress others; go somewhere you're excited about. It could be camping in your local park or something more exotic. But the further away it is, the more time you need to allow to enjoy it without stress. Those "if it's Tuesday it must be Belgium" vacations are seldom relaxing.
And along those lines, don't schedule every single minute with activities. Chill, dude.
Don't have kids. Or if it's too late for that, figure out how to get at least some time away from them.
Do lots of fun vacation-related exercise--hiking, swimming, biking etc, but leave your ambitious workout plans at home.
Ditch your loved ones. Don't feel like you and your spouse/friend/family have to do the same thing all the time--constant compromise can be frustrating. If Beloved Husband wants to tour the dusty old Train Museum or spend all day on a boat drinking beer "fishing," and you'd rather shop the boutiques, split up for God's sake. You can catch up at dinner.
Find a tour group. On the other hand, are you single and can't round up a friend with the same schedule or interests? Don't let that keep you at home. Tours have gotten a lot less "touristy" these days and are no longer just for the blue-hair set. The Internet is your friend--spend a few minutes with Google and I know you will turn up lots of options.
If you can't stay off your office email, stay somewhere without Internet access. Even if it means (sniff) no larryespinoza.blogspot.com for the duration.
Get some sleep. Arrange to have any noisy or obnoxious hotel neighbors arrested or intimidated by local thugs. Failing that, at least complain to hotel management with the hopes that they may do something about it or get you another room.
Come back home a day or two early. Don't wait until the last minute before you have to go back to work. Nothing will erase a relaxing vacation faster than stack of unopened mail, a mountain of chores, a pile of stinky laundry two stories high and no time to deal with any of it.
Well heck, you tell me! (You guys are much better at this stuff).
Til next time....
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Goals, goals, goals....
I was watching some of the talking heads yesterday on my flat screen and they had this "so called" self-improvement expert on talking about goals.
Don't get me wrong, having goals... looking at them every once in a while is a good thing. I really think you need to try to have a plan. But this person was going on tirelessly on the importance of long-range goals.
I think long-range goals are more important earlier on in life.
But having a DAILY goal, however, is important EVERY day of your life.
IF you put most of your focus on meeting daily goals. If you hit your daily target day after day, just seems to me that the long-range targets will take care of themselves.
One of the difficulties with long-range goals is that you may not be the same person a year from now, or five or ten years from now as you are today. In fact, I guarantee that I am not, and you may not be the same person today that you were on May 1, 2008 - or January 1, 2008.
In my case this is a good thing...because to live means to change, improve and grow.
So right now at this moment are you getting closer to your daily goal?
Til next time...
Don't get me wrong, having goals... looking at them every once in a while is a good thing. I really think you need to try to have a plan. But this person was going on tirelessly on the importance of long-range goals.
I think long-range goals are more important earlier on in life.
But having a DAILY goal, however, is important EVERY day of your life.
IF you put most of your focus on meeting daily goals. If you hit your daily target day after day, just seems to me that the long-range targets will take care of themselves.
One of the difficulties with long-range goals is that you may not be the same person a year from now, or five or ten years from now as you are today. In fact, I guarantee that I am not, and you may not be the same person today that you were on May 1, 2008 - or January 1, 2008.
In my case this is a good thing...because to live means to change, improve and grow.
So right now at this moment are you getting closer to your daily goal?
Til next time...
Friday, June 13, 2008
Whew.....
I was just looking around my office, and after getting over the shock of boxes piled three feet high around the perimeter of my office, six "2do" lists and a pad full of phone calls to make... I just went whew!
Many people go through life filled with resentment and bitterness about what isn't working, what they don't have, what they wish they had, what other people have that they don't have, and so on.
I really think that this is the wrong orientation toward life. Perhaps a better orientation is to begin with what you DO have and build from there.
It's human nature to take note of our weaknesses and fret about what we cannot do...
But you will find that if you take an inventory of your strengths and build upon them. IF you focus on what you can do - then make plans to turn the things you cannot do into things you can do - even if it means enlisting the help of others.
There are many things I cannot currently do that I get done but because I'm willing to allow others to help me. Knowing this allows me to focus on what I do best - and if I continually do what I do best - I'll get more accomplished in less time.
Have a great weekend, and better Fathers Day
Til next time....
Many people go through life filled with resentment and bitterness about what isn't working, what they don't have, what they wish they had, what other people have that they don't have, and so on.
I really think that this is the wrong orientation toward life. Perhaps a better orientation is to begin with what you DO have and build from there.
It's human nature to take note of our weaknesses and fret about what we cannot do...
But you will find that if you take an inventory of your strengths and build upon them. IF you focus on what you can do - then make plans to turn the things you cannot do into things you can do - even if it means enlisting the help of others.
There are many things I cannot currently do that I get done but because I'm willing to allow others to help me. Knowing this allows me to focus on what I do best - and if I continually do what I do best - I'll get more accomplished in less time.
Have a great weekend, and better Fathers Day
Til next time....
Monday, June 9, 2008
Got to get started...
I read something the other day about being successful. It went something like this...
You don't score touchdowns by worrying about how far you have to move the ball. You put points on the board by focusing on an objective, seeing yourself where you want to be - then hauling ass to get there.
You don't complain when times are tough. Nor do you expect anyone or anything else to do the job for you - but you willingly and graciously accept help when it comes. Sometimes help comes in mysterious ways, so be open to it.
Even so, a coach of mine said something profound one day when I was feeling sorry for myself. "Don't expect God to get you out of bed in the morning." Guess, I got to get started by myself huh?
We have all had days where we just don't know if we can accomplish what we need to do. For me today is one of those days, but unless we start moving in some direction, we will never find the place we need to go or the thing that we want.
So take a deep breath and get started, no one else is going to do it for you.
Til next time...
You don't score touchdowns by worrying about how far you have to move the ball. You put points on the board by focusing on an objective, seeing yourself where you want to be - then hauling ass to get there.
You don't complain when times are tough. Nor do you expect anyone or anything else to do the job for you - but you willingly and graciously accept help when it comes. Sometimes help comes in mysterious ways, so be open to it.
Even so, a coach of mine said something profound one day when I was feeling sorry for myself. "Don't expect God to get you out of bed in the morning." Guess, I got to get started by myself huh?
We have all had days where we just don't know if we can accomplish what we need to do. For me today is one of those days, but unless we start moving in some direction, we will never find the place we need to go or the thing that we want.
So take a deep breath and get started, no one else is going to do it for you.
Til next time...
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Been thinking again....
Sometimes I think that when I was born, I just wasn't dropped on my head, but thrown across the room and landed square on my head. It's just amazing what I come up with when I have too much time on my hands.
Give you an example, when did fish get an appetite for worms? I have this mental image of two bass laying on the bank trying to catch their breath when a worm just happens to wonder by...then fish CPR (catch, picture and release) and they went under the nearest submerged stump and told their kin... You'll get it if you are a fisherman.
Anyway, I had this though while peddling around town on my bike... do you think spiritual growth is possible without concurrent intellectual expansion.
In other words can you grow spiritually if you are not growing intellectually?
Many of you know that I love to learn. I think it is fun, and from all the latest research life long learning might just be the number one thing that will keep you younger longer. Besides, doing something that you find stimulating can't be all bad.
But even as a young learner I have always been drawn to biographies. Better yet talking to people about the lives they lived and the path that they have walked often teaches and inspires.
As a teacher I always encourage those that I touch to read widely and to expand their understanding. I think it is important and well as enjoyable. But ultimately while I believe that expanding the intellect has many benefits, it is not an essential prerequisite to developing spirituality.
Many people surmount great spiritual peaks through feeling and intuition alone. Most of the old Shamans were not conventionally intellectual or well read (or even read at all); they could not quote Lau Tzu, or Goethe or Jung but it did not stop them from connecting with and becoming a great conduit for God.
I guess if you are going to flex your intellectual muscles (and I recommend that you do) remember that for knowledge to be of any benefit at all it must be placed into the experiential world.
Knowing is not the same as doing. And you only truly own what you have experienced. Everything else is just decoration. Seems to me until you get to the point of practice, all knowledge remains impotent.
Having said that, one of the first things I do initially when I take on a new group of students at the college or mentor wide eyed interns is to get them reading widely, anything they can get their hands on about fitness, learning and life. What I have found is that IF I can get them to escalate the difficulty of their reading, (advising them to ‘just read’) even if initially they do not understand what they are ingesting. I can stimulate discussion and hopefully a little bit of learning. Over the years I've learned to do this as part of their studies, I made it a compulsory element because I know that in the age of DVD's, TV and dumbed down journalism very few people read anymore, and when they do, they generally do not challenge themselves.
This helps me when I am teaching. Primarily people come to me because they are looking to learn new things about this fitness stuff and exercise adherence, and while I am practised in articulating how I found my way, there will always be a part of the aspirant that will want my experience and my words validated from other sources. So giving them books to read by other travelers helps people to trust what I offer. Ultimately the words and the book s are only there to encourage them to go out and experience things for themselves, so that they can be the proof.
Because words without experience are short lived. What gives words life is action.
But there is a danger of mistaking knowledge of the journey for the journey itself, if people are not careful, they can get too caught up in intellectualisation - I think that a word. If it is not tempered in the forge of experience knowledge can become a wank-fest of self congratulatory narcissism. I have fallen into this trap myself, quoting the latest flavor of guru to display my level of intellect. But I have also fallen into the trap of judging people that I think might over intellectualise things.
When I was studying for a master’s degree and had to read lots of academic tomes I really hated the language of academia because I felt that it was completely inaccessible to the man on the street. But to pass my degree I had to read it, and I also had to write it. And ultimately I was glad I did, because it pushed me to expand, and enabled me to understand a language that was not open to me before.
So now I encourage other people to read books that are beyond their scope for the same reasons. The danger is (as I said) when the intellectuals intellectualise but never put the words into action.
In the world of metamorphosis (I have found) action is all. And if the anti-intellectuals don’t become more open minded they too might miss out on something of real import.
I am aware that I have possibly offered you contradictory advice here so, in conclusion I’ll tell you what my life has told me thus far and what is as real as gravity to me; reading is great, writing is great too, you discover things that you didn’t know you knew when you write, but when it comes to actual knowledge, experience is everything.
When I am attracted by a speaker or a guru or a swami it is always because they have experienced life in all its wonder and its awe. If you climb Everest or go to the moon or overcome a debilitating childhood people will cross the globe to speak with you because everyone wants to touch the hand of experience.
Til next time...
Give you an example, when did fish get an appetite for worms? I have this mental image of two bass laying on the bank trying to catch their breath when a worm just happens to wonder by...then fish CPR (catch, picture and release) and they went under the nearest submerged stump and told their kin... You'll get it if you are a fisherman.
Anyway, I had this though while peddling around town on my bike... do you think spiritual growth is possible without concurrent intellectual expansion.
In other words can you grow spiritually if you are not growing intellectually?
Many of you know that I love to learn. I think it is fun, and from all the latest research life long learning might just be the number one thing that will keep you younger longer. Besides, doing something that you find stimulating can't be all bad.
But even as a young learner I have always been drawn to biographies. Better yet talking to people about the lives they lived and the path that they have walked often teaches and inspires.
As a teacher I always encourage those that I touch to read widely and to expand their understanding. I think it is important and well as enjoyable. But ultimately while I believe that expanding the intellect has many benefits, it is not an essential prerequisite to developing spirituality.
Many people surmount great spiritual peaks through feeling and intuition alone. Most of the old Shamans were not conventionally intellectual or well read (or even read at all); they could not quote Lau Tzu, or Goethe or Jung but it did not stop them from connecting with and becoming a great conduit for God.
I guess if you are going to flex your intellectual muscles (and I recommend that you do) remember that for knowledge to be of any benefit at all it must be placed into the experiential world.
Knowing is not the same as doing. And you only truly own what you have experienced. Everything else is just decoration. Seems to me until you get to the point of practice, all knowledge remains impotent.
Having said that, one of the first things I do initially when I take on a new group of students at the college or mentor wide eyed interns is to get them reading widely, anything they can get their hands on about fitness, learning and life. What I have found is that IF I can get them to escalate the difficulty of their reading, (advising them to ‘just read’) even if initially they do not understand what they are ingesting. I can stimulate discussion and hopefully a little bit of learning. Over the years I've learned to do this as part of their studies, I made it a compulsory element because I know that in the age of DVD's, TV and dumbed down journalism very few people read anymore, and when they do, they generally do not challenge themselves.
This helps me when I am teaching. Primarily people come to me because they are looking to learn new things about this fitness stuff and exercise adherence, and while I am practised in articulating how I found my way, there will always be a part of the aspirant that will want my experience and my words validated from other sources. So giving them books to read by other travelers helps people to trust what I offer. Ultimately the words and the book s are only there to encourage them to go out and experience things for themselves, so that they can be the proof.
Because words without experience are short lived. What gives words life is action.
But there is a danger of mistaking knowledge of the journey for the journey itself, if people are not careful, they can get too caught up in intellectualisation - I think that a word. If it is not tempered in the forge of experience knowledge can become a wank-fest of self congratulatory narcissism. I have fallen into this trap myself, quoting the latest flavor of guru to display my level of intellect. But I have also fallen into the trap of judging people that I think might over intellectualise things.
When I was studying for a master’s degree and had to read lots of academic tomes I really hated the language of academia because I felt that it was completely inaccessible to the man on the street. But to pass my degree I had to read it, and I also had to write it. And ultimately I was glad I did, because it pushed me to expand, and enabled me to understand a language that was not open to me before.
So now I encourage other people to read books that are beyond their scope for the same reasons. The danger is (as I said) when the intellectuals intellectualise but never put the words into action.
In the world of metamorphosis (I have found) action is all. And if the anti-intellectuals don’t become more open minded they too might miss out on something of real import.
I am aware that I have possibly offered you contradictory advice here so, in conclusion I’ll tell you what my life has told me thus far and what is as real as gravity to me; reading is great, writing is great too, you discover things that you didn’t know you knew when you write, but when it comes to actual knowledge, experience is everything.
When I am attracted by a speaker or a guru or a swami it is always because they have experienced life in all its wonder and its awe. If you climb Everest or go to the moon or overcome a debilitating childhood people will cross the globe to speak with you because everyone wants to touch the hand of experience.
Til next time...
Sunday, June 1, 2008
I Think....
I think God wants us to grow. I believe that the universe is hungry for us to expand - and it is continually offering us the means to accomplish this.
Ok, so let’s back up for a second, I haven’t written in a while and from that statement you might think that I have completely lost my marbles. No doubt I have… but I lost them long ago. Actually, the above was stimulated by watching my son deal with a bully on the baseball diamond and some demons that some friends and family members are fighting. I’ll explain.
Many people feel that meditation is the prime exercise for this expansion, and while in theory I agree that it is hugely beneficial, I have to add my own personal experience based caveat; while I love to grow my conscious “net” though meditation I have to say that my very deep development always came through my very hard experience where I learned to dissolve fear while facing fear, and expand into new realities by engaging new realities.
I’ll get back to Phil.
After being hit twice by this particular little league pitching staff, there was an “incident” on the ball diamond where Phil ended up punching this kid lights out. I think it was the taunt of the second pitcher as Phil walked to first base. The opposing team didn’t like Phil’s snap throws to first and third that picked off three of their players. (It is funny how people deliver messages in the sporting world!)
Now, I would never condone violence on a ball field, especially from my son, but as the father of the child who delivered the right hook. I did sit back for a split second and appreciate its precision. I know it’s a boy/dad thing! However after the fray, Phil was mortified and very upset that he had lost his cool. It was a good lesson and it reminded me of a past experience from my teenage days.
I thought I nearly killed this kid one night walking home from my girlfriend’s house. Maybe I had never seen so much blood, maybe it was the anger I felt after seeing this kid pick on some friends of mine earlier in the day. But there we were in a dimly lit parking lot, Jack just full of himself, probably high and wanting to go. I walked away from him after hearing the four and seven letter words directed at me, my family, my mother and my first love. And then it happened. I felt his hand tug on my shoulder I spun around and the rest as they say, is history…
Afterwards I saw God.
It was the last place I expected to encounter Him, but He was there and he spoke to me through my pain. I was certain that Jack was dead and I was also certain that my life as I knew it was over. After the bloody encounter (triggered by two obese egos and an argument over personal territory) he was deeply unconscious and on his way to hospital and I was in my own version of Dante’s inferno. Within minutes I was deeply remorseful, within hours I believed I was on my way to prison. When I walked home that night, it was about midnight, I felt as though my world had collapsed. If he was dead, and I was sure he was, I was about to lose everything that I held dear; ironically everything I had become complacent of. It was then that the realization hit me; I was about to lose the most precious gift of all.
After talking to the authorities (apparently a patrolman saw the incident as it was happening. The neighbors called the police on Jack before I happened on the scene - he was a malicious kid and already spent plenty of time at the police station), I ran home. I seemed to be flying, the street lights were glowing, and looked like celestial orbs. When I got home my folks were asleep in one room, completely unaware of my crime and my pain. As I lay on my bed my life would be changed for ever – no chance to go to college, play tennis or even have a family, I would be taking Jack’s place in the Joliet state penitentiary …I was about to lose everything!
Then another startling realization; the boy I kicked around in that dimly lit park parking lot like a football, the man I had thought my enemy, was also a human being, he was Jack Senior’s and Barbra’s son. I was filled with remorse. I unashamedly laid on my back and prayed to God, I asked Him for one more chance, I promised that if He allowed this jerk to live I would turn this baby around, I would change my life. After a very long dark night of the soul I found out that the he had not only survived, but he was walking around completely without serious injury. He was scared, banged and battered and talking smack! The little Shit! I kept my promise, I renounced violence and I started my search for meaning.
The huge revelation for me here was that all those folks that I felt were my enemies were not my enemies, I have no enemies.
Another experience based epiphany occurred when I started to delve heavily into the martial aspect of the combat arts and learned how to kill people. You would think that if you trained intently in a killing art that it would give you a thirst for killing, but the opposite is true, the ability to kill, taking the martial arts to it’s obvious ends, triggered a transition in me, I could feel how ugly it was to hurt another person, and suddenly all I wanted to do was hug everyone.
I was actually happier than I had ever been, all I wanted to do was help people, serve people, and the thought of harming another human was the furthest thing from my mind.
These revelations might seem obvious…but at 18 years of age, not so. I know we all have read about the futility of violence many times… and have read about killing all your enemies by making them friends, no doubt. But for me this was not mere information taken from a library or a book of quotes, it was not learned, this was earned wisdom, it was actual elixir.
I can now say with certainty that violence always rebounds on its self, and use this knowing to “uncreate” violence in all its forms. I can say I have no enemies with absolute faith and pray even and especially for those that would do me harm.
This is what that extreme physical experience gave me.
Over the years I have had similar thoughts and revelations in meditation, but until I tested them, they remained simply pregnant pieces of information looking for a birth in the outside world.
But of course I was up for the challenge because I wanted to be free. As much as I love meditation and as much as I practice it and concur on its benefits, I do find that people are often guilty of courting deep states of relaxation in order to avoid raw states of experiential growth. I was never a man to sit at a bar and talk challenge, or theorize challenge or intellectualize challenge. I didn’t take the concept of challenge to a lab and do qualitative and quantitative experiments with mice or rats. I took my bones out onto the court, field or ring and I was my own experiment. I was ‘Rat A’ and the world was my laboratory. If it worked I got to walk away. If it didn’t I ended up on my ass or a hospital ward.
Ironically what I found was that all the external challenges I faced in the world of men turned out to be internal challenges, they all forced me back inside. The real Jihad is the internal jihad. In fact all jihads are battles with the self; the self is your only friend and the self is your only enemy.
But for me it was only in facing the fears and challenges that I had created out there - because ultimately they are only projections from the self I know that was deep let me better explain.
The bigger challenges are often closer than you think.
It is easier to march angrily through your town with an ‘anti-war’ banner than it is to pick up the phone and end the war with the sister that you don’t talk to anymore, the ex-wife that hates your guts or the son/daughter that you haven’t seen since a family argument all those lost years ago. People want to stop the war ‘out there’ while the war in their own life, or inside their own bodies is raging away almost un-noticed and often ignored.
I think that ‘out there’ is often an easy distraction for what is ‘in here.’
People are in love with the idea of challenge but do not actually take on the real challenge, they want to change the world but are unable to even change their own personal habits. They want sovereignty over the material before earning sovereignty over the self.
Idyllic retreats and lonely caves are nice and I highly recommend them for respite and recovery, but they do not prepare you for the world of men. The world of men is where you prepare for the world of men.
With that thought as my sponsor I changed my whole universe for the better. And my method was simple; I made a list of all the things that I dreamed of doing, all the things that I was frightened of doing…and now I am doing them.
But in order to do that I had one major hurdle to over come.
My self.
I was my own enemy.
So I killed my enemy by making him my friend.
If you want to master the world, first master yourself. If you want to take on the world, start first by taking on the self.
Til’ next time (hopefully much sooner!)
Ok, so let’s back up for a second, I haven’t written in a while and from that statement you might think that I have completely lost my marbles. No doubt I have… but I lost them long ago. Actually, the above was stimulated by watching my son deal with a bully on the baseball diamond and some demons that some friends and family members are fighting. I’ll explain.
Many people feel that meditation is the prime exercise for this expansion, and while in theory I agree that it is hugely beneficial, I have to add my own personal experience based caveat; while I love to grow my conscious “net” though meditation I have to say that my very deep development always came through my very hard experience where I learned to dissolve fear while facing fear, and expand into new realities by engaging new realities.
I’ll get back to Phil.
After being hit twice by this particular little league pitching staff, there was an “incident” on the ball diamond where Phil ended up punching this kid lights out. I think it was the taunt of the second pitcher as Phil walked to first base. The opposing team didn’t like Phil’s snap throws to first and third that picked off three of their players. (It is funny how people deliver messages in the sporting world!)
Now, I would never condone violence on a ball field, especially from my son, but as the father of the child who delivered the right hook. I did sit back for a split second and appreciate its precision. I know it’s a boy/dad thing! However after the fray, Phil was mortified and very upset that he had lost his cool. It was a good lesson and it reminded me of a past experience from my teenage days.
I thought I nearly killed this kid one night walking home from my girlfriend’s house. Maybe I had never seen so much blood, maybe it was the anger I felt after seeing this kid pick on some friends of mine earlier in the day. But there we were in a dimly lit parking lot, Jack just full of himself, probably high and wanting to go. I walked away from him after hearing the four and seven letter words directed at me, my family, my mother and my first love. And then it happened. I felt his hand tug on my shoulder I spun around and the rest as they say, is history…
Afterwards I saw God.
It was the last place I expected to encounter Him, but He was there and he spoke to me through my pain. I was certain that Jack was dead and I was also certain that my life as I knew it was over. After the bloody encounter (triggered by two obese egos and an argument over personal territory) he was deeply unconscious and on his way to hospital and I was in my own version of Dante’s inferno. Within minutes I was deeply remorseful, within hours I believed I was on my way to prison. When I walked home that night, it was about midnight, I felt as though my world had collapsed. If he was dead, and I was sure he was, I was about to lose everything that I held dear; ironically everything I had become complacent of. It was then that the realization hit me; I was about to lose the most precious gift of all.
After talking to the authorities (apparently a patrolman saw the incident as it was happening. The neighbors called the police on Jack before I happened on the scene - he was a malicious kid and already spent plenty of time at the police station), I ran home. I seemed to be flying, the street lights were glowing, and looked like celestial orbs. When I got home my folks were asleep in one room, completely unaware of my crime and my pain. As I lay on my bed my life would be changed for ever – no chance to go to college, play tennis or even have a family, I would be taking Jack’s place in the Joliet state penitentiary …I was about to lose everything!
Then another startling realization; the boy I kicked around in that dimly lit park parking lot like a football, the man I had thought my enemy, was also a human being, he was Jack Senior’s and Barbra’s son. I was filled with remorse. I unashamedly laid on my back and prayed to God, I asked Him for one more chance, I promised that if He allowed this jerk to live I would turn this baby around, I would change my life. After a very long dark night of the soul I found out that the he had not only survived, but he was walking around completely without serious injury. He was scared, banged and battered and talking smack! The little Shit! I kept my promise, I renounced violence and I started my search for meaning.
The huge revelation for me here was that all those folks that I felt were my enemies were not my enemies, I have no enemies.
Another experience based epiphany occurred when I started to delve heavily into the martial aspect of the combat arts and learned how to kill people. You would think that if you trained intently in a killing art that it would give you a thirst for killing, but the opposite is true, the ability to kill, taking the martial arts to it’s obvious ends, triggered a transition in me, I could feel how ugly it was to hurt another person, and suddenly all I wanted to do was hug everyone.
I was actually happier than I had ever been, all I wanted to do was help people, serve people, and the thought of harming another human was the furthest thing from my mind.
These revelations might seem obvious…but at 18 years of age, not so. I know we all have read about the futility of violence many times… and have read about killing all your enemies by making them friends, no doubt. But for me this was not mere information taken from a library or a book of quotes, it was not learned, this was earned wisdom, it was actual elixir.
I can now say with certainty that violence always rebounds on its self, and use this knowing to “uncreate” violence in all its forms. I can say I have no enemies with absolute faith and pray even and especially for those that would do me harm.
This is what that extreme physical experience gave me.
Over the years I have had similar thoughts and revelations in meditation, but until I tested them, they remained simply pregnant pieces of information looking for a birth in the outside world.
But of course I was up for the challenge because I wanted to be free. As much as I love meditation and as much as I practice it and concur on its benefits, I do find that people are often guilty of courting deep states of relaxation in order to avoid raw states of experiential growth. I was never a man to sit at a bar and talk challenge, or theorize challenge or intellectualize challenge. I didn’t take the concept of challenge to a lab and do qualitative and quantitative experiments with mice or rats. I took my bones out onto the court, field or ring and I was my own experiment. I was ‘Rat A’ and the world was my laboratory. If it worked I got to walk away. If it didn’t I ended up on my ass or a hospital ward.
Ironically what I found was that all the external challenges I faced in the world of men turned out to be internal challenges, they all forced me back inside. The real Jihad is the internal jihad. In fact all jihads are battles with the self; the self is your only friend and the self is your only enemy.
But for me it was only in facing the fears and challenges that I had created out there - because ultimately they are only projections from the self I know that was deep let me better explain.
The bigger challenges are often closer than you think.
It is easier to march angrily through your town with an ‘anti-war’ banner than it is to pick up the phone and end the war with the sister that you don’t talk to anymore, the ex-wife that hates your guts or the son/daughter that you haven’t seen since a family argument all those lost years ago. People want to stop the war ‘out there’ while the war in their own life, or inside their own bodies is raging away almost un-noticed and often ignored.
I think that ‘out there’ is often an easy distraction for what is ‘in here.’
People are in love with the idea of challenge but do not actually take on the real challenge, they want to change the world but are unable to even change their own personal habits. They want sovereignty over the material before earning sovereignty over the self.
Idyllic retreats and lonely caves are nice and I highly recommend them for respite and recovery, but they do not prepare you for the world of men. The world of men is where you prepare for the world of men.
With that thought as my sponsor I changed my whole universe for the better. And my method was simple; I made a list of all the things that I dreamed of doing, all the things that I was frightened of doing…and now I am doing them.
But in order to do that I had one major hurdle to over come.
My self.
I was my own enemy.
So I killed my enemy by making him my friend.
If you want to master the world, first master yourself. If you want to take on the world, start first by taking on the self.
Til’ next time (hopefully much sooner!)
Thursday, May 15, 2008
What you can learn from the Presidents
One of the great things about having kids is that you go back to school every once in a while. Not only do you go back physically during parent teachers conferences and wonder how you ever drank out of those little fountains.
I used to really enjoy history class in school, but somehow got out of the habit of paying attention to it as hit more tennis balls. Dumb I know. As a student of history you better understand why things happen today, let alone understand the human condition. My avoidance of history happened over time because my priorities changed over the years and of course you get into earth shattering habits like watching American Idol!
I digress.... I had the opportunity to look at a book that Phil was reading. It was pretty interesting really, since it was a book about American presidents. We haven’t had all that many, forty three I think… But, I realized that in my lifetime their have been 7, but I can only really remember 6 with clarity.
Looking at their lives from childhood to post presidency got me thinking and wondering if I would have had the same drive to overcome the obstacles some of these men and their families endured to become our Nation’s leader.
What do these names have in common?
Richard Nixon
Gerald Ford
Jimmy Carter
Ronald Reagan
Bill Clinton
They were all President of the United States, right? They were all the most powerful man in the world at one point. However, I am looking for something else...
Richard Nixon... Nixon was born in the home his father built. He won an award from Harvard his senior year of high school. However, his family was unable to afford his leaving home for college. He instead attended Whittier College.
Gerald Ford... Ford was born as Leslie Lynch King, Jr. In 1913 his mother left her abusive husband and took her son to live with her parents. She met Gerald R. Ford, whom she married and gave her child his name Gerald Rudolph Ford, Jr. He was the only President to be adopted. Ford worked in his stepfather's paint and varnish store growing up. He coached boxing during college to afford his tuition.
Jimmy Carter... He was the first member of his family ever to go to college and his father was a peanut farmer.
Ronald Reagan... he was the son of an alcoholic traveling shoe salesman. He worked his way into show business by broadcasting baseball games. At forty, he was divorced and his career was at a dead end.
Bill Clinton... Born William Jefferson Blythe IV, his father ( another traveling salesmen) died in an automobile accident three months before he was born. His mother married Roger Clinton and Bill took that name. Clinton grew up in a turbulent family. His stepfather was a gambler and alcoholic who regularly abused his wife, and sometimes Clinton's half brother Roger.
None of these men were born into wealth and prosperity, yet they each achieved the rank of most powerful person in the world by working hard and not making excuses. That is 5 out of the last 7 Presidents or 71% of Presidents in the last generation born into normal families who struggled. Yet, they refused to use that as an excuse.
'The rich get richer and the poor get poorer.' You have heard it a million times. However, my guess is that you have never heard it from the mouth of the 'rich'. Instead, this echo has most likely bounced to your ear with its origins being an excuse. That is right... an excuse. Excuses are what many use to pacify their guilt of not accomplishing what they are capable of.
I am not suggesting that wealth is success. My inference is that success is the progressive realization of predetermined worthwhile goals. It may be something as simple as raising a family.
I guess my point here is that life is too short to make excuses. Set your goals and pursue them. If you have been dealt a 'worse' hand than another, it may indeed be a gift that teaches you the value of hard work. Your story will be richer and your success sweeter when you achieve your dreams.
Til next time…
I used to really enjoy history class in school, but somehow got out of the habit of paying attention to it as hit more tennis balls. Dumb I know. As a student of history you better understand why things happen today, let alone understand the human condition. My avoidance of history happened over time because my priorities changed over the years and of course you get into earth shattering habits like watching American Idol!
I digress.... I had the opportunity to look at a book that Phil was reading. It was pretty interesting really, since it was a book about American presidents. We haven’t had all that many, forty three I think… But, I realized that in my lifetime their have been 7, but I can only really remember 6 with clarity.
Looking at their lives from childhood to post presidency got me thinking and wondering if I would have had the same drive to overcome the obstacles some of these men and their families endured to become our Nation’s leader.
What do these names have in common?
Richard Nixon
Gerald Ford
Jimmy Carter
Ronald Reagan
Bill Clinton
They were all President of the United States, right? They were all the most powerful man in the world at one point. However, I am looking for something else...
Richard Nixon... Nixon was born in the home his father built. He won an award from Harvard his senior year of high school. However, his family was unable to afford his leaving home for college. He instead attended Whittier College.
Gerald Ford... Ford was born as Leslie Lynch King, Jr. In 1913 his mother left her abusive husband and took her son to live with her parents. She met Gerald R. Ford, whom she married and gave her child his name Gerald Rudolph Ford, Jr. He was the only President to be adopted. Ford worked in his stepfather's paint and varnish store growing up. He coached boxing during college to afford his tuition.
Jimmy Carter... He was the first member of his family ever to go to college and his father was a peanut farmer.
Ronald Reagan... he was the son of an alcoholic traveling shoe salesman. He worked his way into show business by broadcasting baseball games. At forty, he was divorced and his career was at a dead end.
Bill Clinton... Born William Jefferson Blythe IV, his father ( another traveling salesmen) died in an automobile accident three months before he was born. His mother married Roger Clinton and Bill took that name. Clinton grew up in a turbulent family. His stepfather was a gambler and alcoholic who regularly abused his wife, and sometimes Clinton's half brother Roger.
None of these men were born into wealth and prosperity, yet they each achieved the rank of most powerful person in the world by working hard and not making excuses. That is 5 out of the last 7 Presidents or 71% of Presidents in the last generation born into normal families who struggled. Yet, they refused to use that as an excuse.
'The rich get richer and the poor get poorer.' You have heard it a million times. However, my guess is that you have never heard it from the mouth of the 'rich'. Instead, this echo has most likely bounced to your ear with its origins being an excuse. That is right... an excuse. Excuses are what many use to pacify their guilt of not accomplishing what they are capable of.
I am not suggesting that wealth is success. My inference is that success is the progressive realization of predetermined worthwhile goals. It may be something as simple as raising a family.
I guess my point here is that life is too short to make excuses. Set your goals and pursue them. If you have been dealt a 'worse' hand than another, it may indeed be a gift that teaches you the value of hard work. Your story will be richer and your success sweeter when you achieve your dreams.
Til next time…
Sunday, May 11, 2008
How long do you think you'll live?
Normally I don't usually do these things, but with it being a holiday I couldn't help myself. Peter Russell has a calculator for Real Age, that looks at your lifestyle and then predicts how long you might live.
In my case with my current lifestyle, I am projected to live another 13,100 days. Or almost 36 years. However if I just change two things in my lifestyle, easy ones at that, I would statistically live to almost 17,200 days or 47 years. huh...
For a whole lot of reasons, but mainly trying to outlive all those tennis pros who whooped up on me when I was playing - read that as spite (Using up my son's inheritance comes to mind as well!)... I think I'm going to make those lifestyle changes permanent over the course of this year.
Why don't you check out the website and see how you do.... the web address is: http://www.peterrussell.com/Odds/RealAge.php
Til next time....
In my case with my current lifestyle, I am projected to live another 13,100 days. Or almost 36 years. However if I just change two things in my lifestyle, easy ones at that, I would statistically live to almost 17,200 days or 47 years. huh...
For a whole lot of reasons, but mainly trying to outlive all those tennis pros who whooped up on me when I was playing - read that as spite (Using up my son's inheritance comes to mind as well!)... I think I'm going to make those lifestyle changes permanent over the course of this year.
Why don't you check out the website and see how you do.... the web address is: http://www.peterrussell.com/Odds/RealAge.php
Til next time....
Sunday, May 4, 2008
The moral of the story is....
I had the good fortune of spending some time in Savana Georgia a few weeks ago. We had an afternoon to explore and I found some terrific old bookstores down by the river and spent a pleasant afternoon window and book-shopping.
In one of the stores I found an old autobiography with yellow pages and grainy photos. I happily paid $19.95 for it, and stuffed it into my backback and rediscovered it just the other day.
Here’s how it begins:
"In 1915, when I was nineteen, I fought Johnny Sudenberg ten rounds in the wild mining town of Goldfield, Nevada. I was in there with a good fighter, one much better than I was, but I took the fight because I was dead broke and my manager of the moment, Jack Gilfeather, had been able to jimmy a $100 guarantee out of [the] promoter...
Sudenberg almost killed me. For two rounds it was a fight. For the next eight I was a helpless, blood-soaked punching bag. It was the worst beating of my life. I don't remember going down once, because I still don't remember the last three or four rounds.
Goldfield was a tough town. A stranger who got his brains knocked out in Goldfield was no rarity. Hardly worth bothering the doctor about. So they dumped me, unconscious, into a wheelbarrow and some good Samaritan pushed me through the hilly streets. He threw me on the bunk in my "home." I slept.
My "home" was a cave in the side of a hill. Goldfield had been a boom mining town and a room cost five dollars a week. In advance, for a skinny young hobo with holes in his shoes and a newspaper for a suitcase. ...
I remember nothing at all until I woke up at three o' clock the next afternoon – nearly twenty hours after I'd been wheelbarrowed "home."
Everything hurt, of course. But I was young, and I was hungry. I stumbled over to the saloon where Gilfeather hung out, to collect my share of the purse.
In the saloon a few heroes laughed at my battered face. A few made jokes about how funny I looked being trundled through the streets in a wheelbarrow (which is the way I found out about that journey).
I asked where I could find Gilfeather.
A bartender said, "He left town last night, kid. He got drunk and Blew his wad shooting craps."
I had been almost killed for nothing. I was broke and starving. It was the lowest point of my entire life..."
Four years later, on July 4, 1919, Jack Dempsey – yes, the dog-eared old book was Dempsey’s Autobiography—demolished the hulking giant, Jess Willard, to win the single most coveted prize in all of sports in that era: the Heavyweight Boxing Championship of the World.
Is there a moral there? I think there is.
For Champions, the most essential attribute is a grim determination to succeed. Successful people have patience, tenacity and they never quit. They never yield. They never give in. They always keep on going...
Just like Jack Dempsey.Just like every single person in the history of the world who has dared to dream great dreams—and to turn those dreams into reality, no matter long or how hard the journey.
If YOU want to succeed, you MUST accept this fundamental truth. Success requires effort. It requires hard work. It demands persistence. There is always a price. Nothing in life is easy. Not for you, not for me, and certainly not for Jack Dempsey.
And yet – look at what he accomplished, against unimaginable odds. Take it to heart. It’s a classic example of the indomitable power of the human spirit.
No matter what the odds, if you keep on fighting the fight, you WILL win. I guarantee it.
Til next time....
In one of the stores I found an old autobiography with yellow pages and grainy photos. I happily paid $19.95 for it, and stuffed it into my backback and rediscovered it just the other day.
Here’s how it begins:
"In 1915, when I was nineteen, I fought Johnny Sudenberg ten rounds in the wild mining town of Goldfield, Nevada. I was in there with a good fighter, one much better than I was, but I took the fight because I was dead broke and my manager of the moment, Jack Gilfeather, had been able to jimmy a $100 guarantee out of [the] promoter...
Sudenberg almost killed me. For two rounds it was a fight. For the next eight I was a helpless, blood-soaked punching bag. It was the worst beating of my life. I don't remember going down once, because I still don't remember the last three or four rounds.
Goldfield was a tough town. A stranger who got his brains knocked out in Goldfield was no rarity. Hardly worth bothering the doctor about. So they dumped me, unconscious, into a wheelbarrow and some good Samaritan pushed me through the hilly streets. He threw me on the bunk in my "home." I slept.
My "home" was a cave in the side of a hill. Goldfield had been a boom mining town and a room cost five dollars a week. In advance, for a skinny young hobo with holes in his shoes and a newspaper for a suitcase. ...
I remember nothing at all until I woke up at three o' clock the next afternoon – nearly twenty hours after I'd been wheelbarrowed "home."
Everything hurt, of course. But I was young, and I was hungry. I stumbled over to the saloon where Gilfeather hung out, to collect my share of the purse.
In the saloon a few heroes laughed at my battered face. A few made jokes about how funny I looked being trundled through the streets in a wheelbarrow (which is the way I found out about that journey).
I asked where I could find Gilfeather.
A bartender said, "He left town last night, kid. He got drunk and Blew his wad shooting craps."
I had been almost killed for nothing. I was broke and starving. It was the lowest point of my entire life..."
Four years later, on July 4, 1919, Jack Dempsey – yes, the dog-eared old book was Dempsey’s Autobiography—demolished the hulking giant, Jess Willard, to win the single most coveted prize in all of sports in that era: the Heavyweight Boxing Championship of the World.
Is there a moral there? I think there is.
For Champions, the most essential attribute is a grim determination to succeed. Successful people have patience, tenacity and they never quit. They never yield. They never give in. They always keep on going...
Just like Jack Dempsey.Just like every single person in the history of the world who has dared to dream great dreams—and to turn those dreams into reality, no matter long or how hard the journey.
If YOU want to succeed, you MUST accept this fundamental truth. Success requires effort. It requires hard work. It demands persistence. There is always a price. Nothing in life is easy. Not for you, not for me, and certainly not for Jack Dempsey.
And yet – look at what he accomplished, against unimaginable odds. Take it to heart. It’s a classic example of the indomitable power of the human spirit.
No matter what the odds, if you keep on fighting the fight, you WILL win. I guarantee it.
Til next time....
Thursday, May 1, 2008
My thoughts on Georgia
Hi Everyone, just got back from one of those bike tour thingees.
I worked the Tour deGeoriga presented by AT&T (got to get the plug in - I got some free shirts!) professional cycling race. It was pretty neat.
You see... with these types of adventures I get to travel roads and visit towns somewhat off of my personal road map. In my myopic world and workplace when someone mentions Georgia, I think of Jimmy Carter, Billy Beer, the Cheetah club and Pecans.
I remember getting lost in "Hotlanta" during my crazy college days. I looked up at the signs in the intersection and knew I was messed up when I was at the corner of Peach Tree and Peach Tree. Probably not a good a good start to my sophomore spring break considering the amount of alcohol in my system at the time.
But that is not the basis of my opinion any longer....
I had the good fortune and opportunity to eat some of the best and freshest seafood ever on Tybee Island and in America's first planned city of Savannah. This Midwesterner didn't normally think of the state of Georgia being on the eastern seaboard. The marshes and tidal areas are amazing and still fairly pristine. The history from the area is rich and with a little investigation literally comes alive.
You get a real good sense of what the soldiers, citizens and slaves had to endure from both from the revolutionary and civil wars. Apparently GA was pivotal because of it's sea ports in our early conflicts.
As an example Fort Pulaski. This national monument is located just off the coast between Tybee Island and Savannah.
President Madison ordered a new system of coastal fortifications to protect the United States against foreign invasion after the war of 1812. The fort was named after the famous Polish General from the Revolutionary war, and was actually built under the direction of General Robert E. Lee in 1829. (the good general was trained as a civil engineer before the war between the states).
The place is a testament to advanced engineering and hard work. Even after the bombardment of the Union's new rifled cannons during the Civil war, this fort still maintains its seven foot walls on marsh land without one single crack in its foundation. (With all the advances in technology why can't they do that today with the drywall in my house?)
Within 30 hours of the Union's attack during the Civil war, Col. Charles Olmstead had to surrender the fort, the Union had developed a new technology - a rifled cannon shell. Those 60 pound shells could travel far distances (up to 5 miles) and easily passed through the fort's brick walls. This advance in weaponry made brick fortifications obsolete.
(As an aside, the good Col.was the uncle of Fredrick Law Olmsted who went on to design Central Park in New York and Jackson Park in Chicago. He dropped the "a" in the last name because he did not want be associated with a confederate. Small world ain't it?)
We also had the opportunity to stay in a bed and breakfast that was well over 200 years old. (LaFayette Manor) As a matter of fact, the one who built the manson was one of the original signers of the declaration of independence - George Walton. As a lawyer and a plantation owner he held a great deal of land in the north Georgia and had much influence over the direction of our new found country.
The "house" was later named in honor of General LaFayette who used the manor as a base of operations during the revolutionary war. It was even said that George Washington spent some time in the area because of his close friendship with LaFayette.
But what heartens my day, during these sojourns, is that I get the chance to meet people in small towns that have no desire to be connected to their crackberrys or have a need to check their emails every 15 minutes. People who genuinely enjoy having a conversation with an outsider, and care about the others who live in their town.
It seems that the half step slower pace allows one to connect with people and share commonalities that albeit quaint, are quite comforting and for me, help to restore my faith in Americans and our ideals.
Even though some of the towns reminded me of Mayburry right down to the "five and dime" and included Floyd the barber, the citizens in each town usually stopped and smiled and were genuinely concerned with your response to their "hello, how are you doing?".
Too often we get so busy with the goofiness of our day, that we really don't connect. Being connected via email, blackberry and blue tooth, is very different than spending the time to talk to our neighbors and get to know the community.
I enjoyed doing just that on this trip. When you do really connect, you can learn so much more and really appreciate the situation you are in and the life you have a chance to live.
So I have a challenge for you, go talk to someone today - really listen to their response, you might just be surprised how fun it can be.
Til next time...
I worked the Tour deGeoriga presented by AT&T (got to get the plug in - I got some free shirts!) professional cycling race. It was pretty neat.
You see... with these types of adventures I get to travel roads and visit towns somewhat off of my personal road map. In my myopic world and workplace when someone mentions Georgia, I think of Jimmy Carter, Billy Beer, the Cheetah club and Pecans.
I remember getting lost in "Hotlanta" during my crazy college days. I looked up at the signs in the intersection and knew I was messed up when I was at the corner of Peach Tree and Peach Tree. Probably not a good a good start to my sophomore spring break considering the amount of alcohol in my system at the time.
But that is not the basis of my opinion any longer....
I had the good fortune and opportunity to eat some of the best and freshest seafood ever on Tybee Island and in America's first planned city of Savannah. This Midwesterner didn't normally think of the state of Georgia being on the eastern seaboard. The marshes and tidal areas are amazing and still fairly pristine. The history from the area is rich and with a little investigation literally comes alive.
You get a real good sense of what the soldiers, citizens and slaves had to endure from both from the revolutionary and civil wars. Apparently GA was pivotal because of it's sea ports in our early conflicts.
As an example Fort Pulaski. This national monument is located just off the coast between Tybee Island and Savannah.
President Madison ordered a new system of coastal fortifications to protect the United States against foreign invasion after the war of 1812. The fort was named after the famous Polish General from the Revolutionary war, and was actually built under the direction of General Robert E. Lee in 1829. (the good general was trained as a civil engineer before the war between the states).
The place is a testament to advanced engineering and hard work. Even after the bombardment of the Union's new rifled cannons during the Civil war, this fort still maintains its seven foot walls on marsh land without one single crack in its foundation. (With all the advances in technology why can't they do that today with the drywall in my house?)
Within 30 hours of the Union's attack during the Civil war, Col. Charles Olmstead had to surrender the fort, the Union had developed a new technology - a rifled cannon shell. Those 60 pound shells could travel far distances (up to 5 miles) and easily passed through the fort's brick walls. This advance in weaponry made brick fortifications obsolete.
(As an aside, the good Col.was the uncle of Fredrick Law Olmsted who went on to design Central Park in New York and Jackson Park in Chicago. He dropped the "a" in the last name because he did not want be associated with a confederate. Small world ain't it?)
We also had the opportunity to stay in a bed and breakfast that was well over 200 years old. (LaFayette Manor) As a matter of fact, the one who built the manson was one of the original signers of the declaration of independence - George Walton. As a lawyer and a plantation owner he held a great deal of land in the north Georgia and had much influence over the direction of our new found country.
The "house" was later named in honor of General LaFayette who used the manor as a base of operations during the revolutionary war. It was even said that George Washington spent some time in the area because of his close friendship with LaFayette.
But what heartens my day, during these sojourns, is that I get the chance to meet people in small towns that have no desire to be connected to their crackberrys or have a need to check their emails every 15 minutes. People who genuinely enjoy having a conversation with an outsider, and care about the others who live in their town.
It seems that the half step slower pace allows one to connect with people and share commonalities that albeit quaint, are quite comforting and for me, help to restore my faith in Americans and our ideals.
Even though some of the towns reminded me of Mayburry right down to the "five and dime" and included Floyd the barber, the citizens in each town usually stopped and smiled and were genuinely concerned with your response to their "hello, how are you doing?".
Too often we get so busy with the goofiness of our day, that we really don't connect. Being connected via email, blackberry and blue tooth, is very different than spending the time to talk to our neighbors and get to know the community.
I enjoyed doing just that on this trip. When you do really connect, you can learn so much more and really appreciate the situation you are in and the life you have a chance to live.
So I have a challenge for you, go talk to someone today - really listen to their response, you might just be surprised how fun it can be.
Til next time...
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