The formula...

I was sitting in a meeting today, and someone made the mistake of looking how the Dow was doing during the middle of the day.... down -

That was the problem around the table, this lively creative conversation just got kicked in the gut, everyone just got silent. And looking at the faces of those who actually heard the comment, you could just see the fear and dissapointment in their eyes.

I found it profound. And started thinking about how I could best survive in these troubled economic times, when everywhere you look there's a rumbling of great uncertainty. I think we are at a time where we should all take a pause (and a deep breath) to think about our lives.

Later, on my ride home, I turned off the radio, (the host was getting me depressed lamenting about the economy) and I started to reflect... I started to make a judgement about if I was moving in the direction that I wanted to go financially? I think that it is human nature that when things happen in the world that seem so far beyond our individual control, we feel unsettled. And even though we think we are the masters of our own success, watching the news these days can chip away at our self confidence.

Even in tough economic times, you get to decide how to respond to certain conditions, opportunities, and outcomes--both good and bad.

While I don't claim to be an economist, I do know one important fact. The economy is the same for everyone, it's how you respond to it that determines how you feel about it.

It's yet another example of a formula I was taught by a coach years ago.

E + R = O (Events + Responses = Outcome)

The basic idea is that every outcome you experience in life (whether it's success or failure, wealth or poverty, wellness or illness, intimacy or estrangement, joy or frustration) is the result of how you have responded to an earlier event (or events) in your life.

Which means that if you don't like the outcomes you are currently experiencing, there are two basic choices you can make:

Choice #1: You can blame the event (E) for your lack of results (O).
In other words, you can blame the economy, the weather, the lack of money, lack of education, racism, gender bias, the current administration in Washington, your wife or husband, your boss's attitude, the lack of support, and so on.

There is no doubt all these factors exist, but if they were the deciding factor, nobody would ever succeed. For every reason that something is not possible, there are hundreds of people who have faced the same circumstances and have succeeded.

What I am trying to say, is that is is rarely the external conditions and circumstances that stop us -- it's us!

We are the ones who think limiting thoughts and engage in self-defeating behaviors. We defend our self-destructive habits (such as drinking and smoking) with indefensible logic.
We ignore useful feedback, fail to continuously educate ourselves and learn new skills, waste time on the trivial aspects of our lives, engage in idle gossip - (this is a big one at work of late), eat unhealthy food, fail to exercise, spend more than we make, fail to tell the truth, don't ask for what we want, and then wonder why our lives aren't working.

Choice #2: You can instead simply change your responses (R) to the events (E) until you get the outcomes (O) you want. I know it sounds too simple, but let me explain.

You can change your thinking, change your communication, change the pictures you hold in your head (your images and perception of the world) and you can change your behavior (the things you do.) Truth is that's all you really have any control over anyway. :-)

Unfortunately, most of us are so ingrained in our habits that we never change our behavior.
We get stuck in our conditioned responses-to our spouses and children, to our colleagues at work, to our customers and our clients, to our students, and to the world at large. The only choice that we have is to gain control of our thoughts, our images, our dreams and even our daydreams, and eventually our behavior.

Everything you think, say, and do needs to become intentional and aligned with your purpose, values, and your goals.

Bottom line...If you don't like your outcomes, change your responses! I know sounds too easy so let me give you an example that I was fortunate to witness after hurricane Ike.

I was watching the coverage on MSNBC a few days after the hurricane struck the Galveston coast. A reporter was interviewing people commuting to work just outside of Houston. The earthquake had damaged several of the main roads leading into the city. Traffic was at a standstill, and what was normally a 1-hour drive had become a 2-3 hour drive.

The reporter knocked on the window of one of the cars stuck in traffic and asked the driver how he was doing. He responded, angrily, "I hate the government! First there were floods, and now we have no gas or electricity! No matter what I'm never going to get where I need to go!"

Then the Reporter knocked on the window of the car behind him and asked the female driver the same question. This driver was all smiles.

She replied "It's no problem. I left my house at five am - my boss can ask for more than that. I have lots of music and Spanish-language tapes with me. I've got my cell phone. Coffee in a thermos, my lunch-I even have a book to read. I'm fine."

Now, if the hurricane or the traffic were really the deciding variables, then everyone should have been angry. But everyone wasn't.

What struck me was their individual response to the traffic and the crisis that laid ahead of them. What gave them their particular outcome. Was it thinking negative thoughts or positive thoughts, leaving the house prepared or leaving the house unprepared that made the difference.

I really think that it was all a matter of attitude and behavior that created their completely different experiences.

If we all experience the same EVENT, then it stands to reason that the OUTCOME you get will be totally dependent upon your RESPONSE to the situation.

If you want to take control of how you respond to life, you'll start noticing that your outcomes will be more along the lines of what you have always hoped.

So does it mean we control our own destiny? Maybe but just in case we do - perhaps should should try to make it a fantastic one!

Just a thought... Til next time!