“Friggin” Limits…

I have gotten out of the habit of writing on my blog of late. I lost some of my zeal while I was working at the Tour of California - we were pretty busy with the record breaking crowds and had some pretty long days – but then I got some career altering news while working in Modesto about the community center I help to run.

You see, when you are worried about collecting a paycheck you tend to focus and prioritize differently – but I suspect the nearly 1.5 million that have lost their jobs over the last few months understand that statement better than I. For me the truth is that no matter what happens, focusing on things that are out of your control tends to derail my thoughts and what I'm open to. It's as though the thoughts create a state or mindset where you actually create what you don't want to have happen – in essence it's self fulfilling prophecy. You get so concerned about the "what if" that you don't see the real opportunities that are being unveiled before your eyes. So in an attempt to get my head on straight I thought I would go back to the basics… And you know what I realized; I have been overlooking so many new opportunities since I returned from California because I was worried that I wouldn't be employed in a few months.

Truth is that it doesn't matter where I work; it is that I do work – and do something of value that I love. By framing my work life in those terms – I've got plenty of choices – I'm very lucky and blessed.

I suspect that we can all agree to some extent that if you're truly passionate about something, productivity becomes largely irrelevant. You become naturally motivated and naturally driven, but that's not always enough, is it?

There's something else and it's keeps most of us from pursuing from what we really want. It's the same thing every time …And it all comes down to one word: Limits. I was limiting my thought process when I was thinking about my current position. What's really fascinating is how much we avoid doing what we love because of these arbitrary limits.

It really is amazing to me because it seems like we all have nicely organized boxes of preplanned excuses. We convince ourselves that the reasons for not pursuing the things we really want are actually legitimate. Most of the time, they're not. Most of the time, shrugging something off as "impractical" or "too whimsical" is really just an avoidance of the truth.

What all of these limits really come down to is the difference between surviving and living. We end up going through the motions instead of moving through life deliberately. Part of my "enlightenment" over the past week or so I would rather choose the deliberate path.

So this is one of the basic exercises that I use when I feel like I need to push myself past a plateau or road block:

• First, I write down all those really important things that I want or really need to do, but have been avoiding. The key here is to leave enough space after each goal for the next step.
  
• Second, I write down all the reasons/excuses I'm not taking action toward making those goals, needs, wants or desires a reality.
  

I have found that if you take a close look at all of your reasons for not taking action. That many you list are just not legitimate. This process allows you to question if they are real obstacles, or if they are imaginary. For this to work you have to be brutally honest with yourself about what you want. It doesn't matter if other people don't think it's practical; what matters is that you want it.

Once you have that down in print the third step is to give yourself permission to completely abolish these imaginary ceilings. There are no ceilings; the limits of your imagination are the only boundaries.

Okay so that's the first part. The second part is moving beyond those limiting patterns. I believe that most if not all limitations are based on patterns. For example, when I write, I have a pattern of thinking that an article should be written a certain way. I know that when I've written an article that had a good response – I become conditioned to write that way in the future. If I see something become so popular on a social media site; I start to think that I should try to emulate that format now. I also have a pattern of thinking that in order for an article to be worth reading, it needs to be a certain length. That if an article or one of my blogs is beyond that certain length, people won't read it, because it's too long or too time consuming. But when I take a step away from all this I find that what all of these patterns come down to are limits.

There is no question that patterns may be necessary for noticing trends and seeing what's desirable and undesirable. And that recognizing patterns in popular pieces of writing, while studying other successful writers, may help one to become a better scribe. And that by seeing the patterns of greatness that we can emulate, may help us to better our own style. Copying patterns is one of the greatest reasons we've succeeded as a species.

But like most great things, patterns have their limitations. If you become too conditioned, you become fixed and immovable. (I need to stay in the Recreation business –that is all I know how to do) You become conditioned to having a certain reaction to a certain stimulus. You see that you failed in the past, so you fear failure in the future. You notice that that failure happened while trying to pursue something impractical. Now you've developed a pattern of seeing "impractical" endeavors as doomed for failure.

Can you see where all this is headed?

It's easy to get yourself stuck in following patterns because you're afraid of unknown responses. You've seen things go wrong before (or you just have some social conditioning that it's not a good idea), so you hold yourself back from doing what you really want to do. You sell yourself out because you're stuck thinking the loop is an accurate representation of reality.

Well, guess what? That loop is just a tiny figment of your imagination. A minute fragment of an event stuck on repeat that has long been extinct (hello, it happened in the past). Life, on the other hand, is more than just a pattern. It's dynamic. It's alive. It changing and it's constantly in flux.

If there is any enemy, it is the groundless divisions of the possible and probable. If there is anything we should limit, it is how many limits we let seep into our lives.

Its sad thinking that some people keep doing what they've been doing, never really living, because they're afraid that they might be wrong. They're afraid that their pattern, their idea of what's real, might actually be broken. Their limits might be mentally conjured specters. And the lives they lived might have been a lie.

So the question is … What patterns are you unconsciously repeating that are holding you back?

I know that no matter what decisions are made and how they might affect my career at the JCC, I know that looking at my skills and abilities in a broader light and not limiting myself to any specific industry - there seem to be many more opportunities that may just fulfill or trickle my inner Buda.

Let me know what you think…. Til' next time.