"I don't know"

Every once in a while I get annoyed by a successful person. I shouldn't, but I do... not because they were more intelligent than I. Maybe it was a political figure, a leader a boss... It’s especially maddening when that person is creating rules that dictate your life. Perhaps you can relate? I’ve had my share of run ins with people making decisions that I thought were less than brilliant.

So I find myself questioning.... "What is it that makes them successful? What puts them in that position to make my life so...difficult?" It's one of the things that I’ve always wondered and sometimes bugs me. I mean, shouldn't intelligence and common sense be a prerequisite to leadership? The answer… not really.

It turns out the biggest reason people are successful is: consistent action, not intelligence.

Then the question is, are these three words ruining your life…?

The unmagical words? Those words are: I don’t know.

It’s not drive, it’s not motivation, it’s not lack of passion that keeps people from doing what they want. It’s not knowing where to start, or how to get from A to B. The single biggest reason people aren't successful is that they don’t take action to make their dreams a reality.

So how can we overcome this? How can we stop letting obscurity keep us from becoming successful? The answer is pretty simple: You have to develop the ability to stop caring about not knowing.

You have to cultivate the habit of doing before knowing. This seems like a daunting thing to do, but it’s really actually a very easy habit to create. And there are a multitude of possibilities that exist right now so that you can practice it. It really is one of the easiest things to do in the world.
For example, how many time does your spouse or partner ask you “What do you want to have for dinner?” and you respond, “I don’t know.” (This happens to me all the time, and it’s maddening.) Next time, instead of using those three dirty words, just ask yourself, “What’s something I’d like to have for dinner?” and then respond.

Now do this when someone asks where you’d like to hang out, or what you’d like to spend the evening doing. Instead of re-actively saying “I don’t know,” take the time to come up with a response. Even if you’re not 100% completely stoked about the idea, just come up with something you’d be satisfied with doing. Anything other than "I don’t know" is an improvement.

Next, try asking yourself “How could I best use my time, right now?” or “What is the highest leverage use of my time, right now?” Take a minute to brainstorm and mentally prioritize. If you’re having trouble coming up with an answer, just pick whatever you think would be the most productive use of your time. Remember, anything is better than the those three words we shall never speak of.

Just imagine all of the possibilities for you to practice actively making decisions based on your desires, rather than re-actively defaulting to unconsciousness. There are so many little ways you can practice this skill. I think you’ll be surprised at how often you’re able to rehearse it.

Who knows, this just might be the difference between living and existing.... Okay, so let's say you’ve mastered it with the little stuff. Now it’s time to use it on the things that really matter....like your passions and career.

If you’re not doing something you love or at least like for a living, you’re selling yourself short. And I bet the reason why you’re not pursuing something better is because you don’t know what you’d rather do.

Instead of allowing that "not knowing" to dwell in your psychic space, cast it out. You do not have to tolerate it anymore. If you don’t know what you’re passionate about, move from not knowing to seeking a path that will allow you to explore what you might love to do. This might mean reading a book on different career pursuits. It might mean googling your hobbies for possible career intersections. Might be having a conversation with someone who is doing what you would like to do! Whatever it is, practice that until you move into a state of knowing.

I’m passionate about this because I’ve seen many lives unfulfilled because of not knowing. It seems silly to think that such a simple phrase or mindset can have such a devastating impact.
So, when you feel stuck in a state of indecision make one little shift. Say what you want out loud.

It just might be the difference between existing or really living.

Til next time...