Sometimes I'm Wrong...

If you spent as many years as I did in a parochial educational system (like me) then you were programmed. Programmed to embrace a particular life-death-eternity-heaven-hell paradigm. The people who taught me as a child didn’t make vague suggestions about how things worked (when it came to all matters religious). No, they spoke in absolutes. There were no options or alternatives. The other religions perhaps weren’t wrong but we were right.

Shame about my spiritually-bankrupt and eternally-lost non-Christian friends. Oh well, at least I’m going to heaven. J

On some level, we’ve all been programmed, manipulated, coerced and influenced into many of our current beliefs. Our current world view. That’s not to say that the people in our world have intentionally manipulated or coerced us but without doubt, they have influenced us (for good or bad) nonetheless. It happens automatically, constantly and often, unconsciously. It’s an unavoidable byproduct of being around people we trust, respect and love. On some level, we’ve all been shaped and influenced by others and, in turn, we will reciprocate.

Every day, for good or bad, consciously or not, we will influence and be influenced.

If you are a regular reader of my words then you have been influenced by me. In fact, that’s one of my key objectives; to influence people towards their best lives. If you expose yourself to my ideas, thoughts and ramblings on a regular basis then you can’t help but be impacted in some way, big or small, by what you read here. Whether that impact is a positive or a negative in your world, is for you to judge. As I’ve said many times before, your job is not to accept what I say as gospel but, rather, to consider it and see if it resonates with you. If you consider it to be relevant and potentially valuable, then do something with it. If not, ignore it and move on.

I’m just a guy with a few ideas.

So, in the middle of all this influence, the challenge for you and me is to discover what we truly know beyond what we’ve been told, exposed to and coerced to accept as non-negotiable fact. Like it or not, want it or not, people have lied to us. Mislead us. Manipulated us. Some of us have been programmed not to ask questions. Not to doubt. Not to challenge. Not to think for ourselves. Not to consider an alternative philosophy. 

The moment we start to ask intelligent questions, to doubt (certain things) and to truly think independently is the moment we begin to discover our authentic selves and to learn our own truth. The “us” beyond the influence, the programming and the expectations. It’s also the moment we stop being an agent for someone else’s ideas, beliefs, thinking and rules.

The older I get, the less I know. Or so it seems. These days, I’m wrong so often that I always keep a fresh supply of humble pie in the fridge.

I don’t know about you, but there have been times in my life when I accepted certain things simply because it was the path of least resistance and I didn’t want to deal with the potential consequences of being the one to step out of line. And there were times when I believed things because those beliefs made me comfortable. They suited me. I wore them like old ill-fitting clothes. I wanted them to be true so much that I wouldn’t consider listening to anyone who might challenge my thinking or my non-negotiable beliefs. I now know that attitude was all about my fear.

Sometimes, the personal-growth journey is all about learning.

Sometimes it’s about unlearning.  

Let me know what you think –

Til’ next time…

In my twenty-five (plus) years of managing gyms, owning gyms and working on gym floors, I’d say that about one person per year asked me about my qualifications and academic background. Yep, one person. In my time as a trainer, I personally completed more than 40,000 (mostly one-on-one) sessions. That’s a lot of listening and observing, I can tell you. During that time, rarely did a client ask me a technical or scientific question and rarely, did I talk about myself or my life beyond the walls of the gym.

Physical or Psychological?

Yes, I would give them relevant advice, direction and feedback regarding their physical transformation (of course) but mostly, what we talked about was not the science of the getting-in-shape experience (as such) but rather, the people stuff that drives the whole process. We spoke about their feelings, beliefs and fears. Their family. Their history. Their experiences. Their expectations, hopes, dreams and goals. In short, we spoke about them. Their purpose. Their reality. Their life. Why? Because (1) people love to talk about themselves (2) they like someone else to care (3) they want someone to be genuinely invested in their transformation and (4) the session was always about them – not me.

What People Want

I started working in gyms when I was eighteen. Before I was nineteen I realized that my greatest asset as a trainer and coach would be my ability to make people feel valued, respected and important. Nearly thirty years down the track, my advice for anyone in a teaching, coaching, mentoring and/or management (type) role is to pay attention, ask great questions, pay more attention and talk about you only when necessary