What do you think?

Your beliefs become your thoughts

Your thoughts become your words

Your words become your actions

Your actions become your habits

Your habits become your values

Your values become your destiny...

Til next time...

Thought for the day…

Whatever obstacles you face today,
I hope they can be solved this easily!

Man plans, God…

Have you ever had just one of those days that no matter which way you turned you ran into some sort of road block? Maybe you've had one of those months' even years? I know I have… I just have to believe that has to be someone or something trying to give you a message or something. More often than not, it seems to me that the prevailing way of living in our Western society is to plan out our lives, both for the long term and on a day-to-day basis.

We have planners and digital calendars that map out our lives, sometimes to the minute. We feel we're in control, with elaborate planning like this. But I think having such elaborate planning is an illusion. Hold on; don't tune me out – yet.

I just don't think we can control our lives to such a finite degree, no matter how we try. Things will always come up to spoil the best-laid plans, and the more detailed our plans the more of a guarantee that something will go wrong.

Then when our plans go afoul? We get stressed out – we stress sometimes to the point of neurosis, because things get out of our control and don't live up to our expectations. After listening to people for 25 plus years, I'm sure that I can relay story after story of how this is one of the greatest sources of stress, disappointment, divorce, etc… for most people.

Think about how often your days actually go according to plan, exactly — it's pretty rare, because we have no way of predicting the future. No matter how hard we try. There's always an email that will disrupt things, a last-minute meeting, cancellations and postponements, emergencies and fires to put out.

So if plans will almost always go wrong, and when they do we get stressed out, isn't all the time we spend creating the plans a bit of a waste?

But what's the alternative? Giving yourself to the moment. This will not work for everyone, I'll admit: there are those who will have a hard time giving up the illusion of control, and others who are controlled by their bosses or peers and cannot work or live this way.

Still, it's something worth considering. Here's how to do it — starting with the don'ts:

1. Don't plan. Planning is an attempt to control the world around us, but it's a futile attempt. Throw out your plans, for now at least until you've decided this method isn't for you. What do you do instead? More on this below. For now, just stop planning.
   
2. Don't worry about the future. Will something bad happen? Are there things coming up that we must anticipate and prepare for? Of course, if there's a massive hurricane headed your way, you should probably get ready. But otherwise, just realize that the future is unpredictable, and worrying about it is a waste of time. Focus on right now, and what you can do right now. You'll always be able to handle what comes.
   
3. Don't have expectations. If you expect people to act a certain way, or hope that things will turn out a certain way, you'll always run into problems. Forget about outcomes for now. Go into things without expectations, and they will always turn out perfectly (if a bit messy).
   
4. Don't get annoyed when others act a certain way. Don't expect people to act any way other than how they actually act. They are exactly the way they should be — even if that's selfish or weird or aggressive. Those are their problems. Your problem is figuring out how you should act. I'd also advise you to try to understand others — why do they act the way they do? (This truly is the mystery of life)
   
5. Don't overreact. This is a major problem when people plan and things go wrong — they overreact, and get upset and emotional and blow things out of proportion. Stay calm, because if things "go wrong", they didn't actually go wrong — they just happened. More on how to react below.
   
6. Don't try to be proactive. This is a common prescription (being proactive) in management and business literature. And while I think the general idea is fine — do something to prevent problems from recurring rather than just fixing them after they happen — one of the problems this creates is always worrying about what might happen. And creating solutions before there are problems — if there never is a problem, you've wasted a lot of time creating the solution, and a lot of energy worrying about the future.
   

And now for the dos:

1. Do be open. What would it be like to go into each day without a concrete, written in stone plan? Try, if nothing else just to see what happens? It will be a bit scary, because of the lack of security and control, a bit chaotic perhaps, a bit like we're a piece of driftwood floating in the middle of a churning sea. But in truth, this is what it's like to go into each day *with* a plan — it's just that we normally fool ourselves about the amount of control we have. So start the day with no plan, and be open to what emerges in each moment.
   
2. Do what you love. So what should you do, now that you have no plan? Do what you're passionate about, do what excites you right now. Create something amazing. Pour yourself energetically into a project. Build something new. And what you think you're creating might turn out to be completely different from what emerges, but you'll have fun doing it and something even better might be revealed.
   
3. Do act, in the moment. Giving yourself to the moment doesn't mean being passive and just letting life happen. It means acting, but doing what is best at this moment, what you are excited about right now, what needs to be done, in the present.
   
4. Do respond appropriately. Life happens, and we must respond. But instead of overreacting, we can respond calmly and appropriately. We can take the action that's required, fix the problem, do what's necessary to prevent it from happening again, and move on without it ruining our day.
   
5. Do accept. Accept what happens. It might not be what you considered ideal, but it's what life has given you, what has resulted from your actions in an unpredictable world. Accept it, respond, act, move on. Don't get caught up in things not going your way, but accept that's what has happened.
   

Again, I not foolish enough to think that this way of living is for everybody. Some people don't have the freedom to live this way, and others just won't give up control. Some will think this is a passive way of living, but it really isn't: it's just a way of living in the moment without being caught up in the future (or the past) so much.

And when we live in the moment, we're really living life to the fullest. This is the gift of the present.

Til' next time…

“B-Boy”

My Thoughts….

OK, some of you have asked me to weigh in on "Balloon Boy" here goes.

Television is no longer a positive influence on our culture, if it ever was at all. It's become a means by which corporate America, bloated and unaccountable, inflicts their version of what American culture should be on the rest of us. That is, we should be a flock of sheep that will stand up on its hind legs and stand in line for whatever product they're selling, in this case bottom of the barrel, low overhead entertainment. It's as true of American Idol as it is for this type of sensationalist "reality". When the cameras are running, all bets are off and the hard sell is on. And the corporations rake in the money, the better to reward their executives. And the news media is part and parcel of this trend. They're selling their own brand of reality-based snake oil. Truth but not the whole truth.

Our media (including the Internet) has created these people and their ceaseless need for camera time. In our age of self-directed voyeurism and an almost across the board lack of shame about putting your personal life on exhibit, this is what our culture has become.

As Garrison Keillor once said about the Baby Boomers, "We are one generation removed from serious people." Well we're a couple of generations removed at this late date and we're getting less and less serious as time goes on. That's why we keep getting taken in, over and over, by dishonest politicians and their corporate ringleaders. We're oblivious.

We have become an embarrassment as a people. We are consumed with the prospect of fame and notice, much like a spoiled immature child that acts out and doesn't know what to do with the attention when they finally get it.

As long as people continue their voyeuristic camping in front of the TV every night, these "idiots" will do what it takes to "achieve" their 15 minutes of fame.

Imagine if there was a loss of life because of resources wasted looking for a boy who never left the ground.

These self-absorbed parents would be culpable for something tangible, and the rage of the American people would manifest itself in a whole other direction.

We ought to focus on preventing this from happening again - and making sure that any media outlet that abets this type of misconduct be made to pay the price along with the offending parties.

My two cents…

Divine Inspiration

I read something this morning that I thought I should share… This is a blog post by Leo Babauta – he has a daily blog called "Zen Habits" and encourages people to share what he has written. I think this is one of those times. The post is entitled, "The Breath of God Inspiration Method" Hope you enjoy.

"For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream." -Vincent van Gogh

The word "inspiration" to some literally means "the breath of God".

Whether you're religious or not, the idea of God or a god or a muse breathing inspiration into the depth of our beings is a beautiful one. Even if the world is naught but a natural miracle, this idea can lift you up, and give you the spark of life to *do* something great.

That's inspiration at its absolute best: not just when it lifts us up, makes us feel good or enthusiastic or excited, but when it *moves* us, when we become so moved that we create something of truth or beauty.

It's an elusive thing, this pure inspiration, something people of all types of creativity seek on a daily basis. Here's one method — a simple method I hope will help you in that everyday search.

It's three simple steps:

• Find something divinely touched.
  
• Breathe in that divine inspiration.
  
• Do. Create. Inspire.
  

 

Let's look at each step in turn.

Step 1. Find something divinely touched.

For this step, I use a loose definition of "divine" … you don't have to be religious to find divinity in something. When Mozart wrote a symphony, or Jobs created the Macbook Air, or a stranger smiles at you, there is divinity in that. There's divinity in a sunset, in every living thing (why I'm a vegan), in a cool breeze on a humid day.

You just need to recognize the inspiration, in whatever form it comes.

Here are my greatest sources of inspiration:

People doing great things.

Things of great beauty.

Nature.

Music.

The written word: books, magazines, blogs.

People in your life.

Love, in any form.

Yourself, doing anything good, no matter how tiny.

 

Step 2. Breathe in that divine inspiration.

Take a slow, deep breath. As the air comes into your mouth or nostrils, through your throat, and fills your lungs, it is bringing divine inspiration into your body.

Repeat. Each inhalation brings with it more inspiration, and each exhalation releases tension.

Step 3. Do. Create. Inspire.

You are now filled with the Breath of God. Take this inspiration and use it, be moved, and do something. Don't just sit there feeling good. Channel that inspiration into creating something amazing.

Put that something out into the world, and in turn, you will inspire others.

"I am convinced that there are universal currents of Divine Thought vibrating the ether everywhere and that any who can feel these vibrations is inspired." -Richard Wagner

Do his words make you take pause and think? If so, I'm glad that was my intent. If not, well…

Til next time…

Not just my 401K?

Seems like making a profit especially on Wall Street seem to be the lead stories of late on all the news cast. Making a profit is defined as an excess of returns over expenses from a transaction. How about when we exercise, is it possible to make a profit?


How can we justify taking time out of our busy day to somehow fit in an exercise session? How can we also justify the energy expense when we are already tired and stressed from our hectic lifestyles? One might wonder if there is something more profitable we could be doing with our time? (other than working for Goldman Sachs?)


When you expend energy, time and money partaking in an exercise program, you do make a profit on your health and wellbeing. The big payoffs that you will reap and enjoy are that you will change and increase your life quality, increasing your health span across your lifespan. That can be broken down into three major areas. Improved physical function, psychological benefits (healthier mental state), and reduction in risk factors associated with disease.


Along with these three major benefits, you will feel and look healthier, have tons of energy, be more self confident, more productive and discover a happier, joyous and fulfilling life.


Higher quality of your life is a reward that no amount of money can buy. This investment (your commitment) that you give to your exercise program becomes even more attractive when you consider there is absolutely no down side risk. You have so much to gain and nothing to lose. This may be the ultimate investment opportunity, how much better could it get, and can you ever remember getting a better offer than this?


Yet why do so many of us fail to act on this extraordinary opportunity by simply choosing to procrastinate or ignore the proven benefits of exercise? The health profits far outweigh the potential expenditure but many cannot see this. Millions of people all over the world have an exercise deficiency, and millions of people are dying from this deficiency. Don't let yourself be one of them.


We all really do know that exercise is good for us, but sometimes our vision gets clouded and we lose track of what is really important. What could be more important than our health? Without vigorous physical activity, there in no way that a person can have a high quality of health right across their lifespan.


Focus constantly on the benefits that exercise can give you. Continually confirm to yourself your decision to get strong, fit, slim and healthy. Remind yourself how great you feel when you finish your exercise sessions and focus on the fact that you are doing it for the right reasons. Say to yourself while you are exercising "I am getting stronger, fitter and slimmer every second I keep going".


Don't question yourself as to whether you really feel like doing it or not, just do it and it will become a habit. Think about how you want your life to be like in the future. Is your health going to be important to you to be able to do all the things you need and wish to do?


There are many tasks or chores we do every single day that we may not like, but are necessary to live a happy and productive life and exercise might well be one of them. But focus on the bigger picture.


People often look to other people to motivate them, but the fact is that lasting motivation comes from within. You are doing something wonderful for yourself. No one else can take care of you in this way. Be your own coach and get yourself going. Exercise is better than money in the bank, make your deposits and become a millionaire.


Til next time…

Drama…

The word "drama" has taken on an interesting meaning in recent years, beyond the performance form of fiction it's traditionally signified: "making a big deal over something unnecessarily".

It's about making a big production of something, when you could simply get on with things.

Interestingly, the word "drama" comes from the Greek word for "action", which in itself derives from a word that means "to do". And doing turns out to be the answer for unnecessary "drama."

What's the problem with drama? For one, as the urban definition implies, it's unnecessary. There's no need for histrionics when you can talk about and deal with things calmly. There's no need to get overly emotional when you can breathe, release the tensions, and focus on being happy, now, in the moment.

It complicates things, makes a big deal of little things, and ignores the little things that should be a big deal: little things like simple pleasures, and gratitude, and the simple wonderful existence of life.

Drama makes life harder. If you lose your job, you can go into a depression (perhaps understandably) and lose your home and have a hard time finding a job again — often because of the depression. But if instead you stay calm, perhaps take the view that this is a fresh start and a way to pursue the dream you've never had the time to pursue, look at it as a way to learn new skills and reinvent yourself … things won't be so hard. (at least that the story I'm sticking too.)

If you have gotten fat, instead of making a big deal about it, go outside for a walk, and make it a simple daily habit (perhaps gradually turning it into a jog). And then just start eating fresher foods — fruits and veggies and beans and nuts — rather than unhealthy foods. Start cooking for yourself instead of eating fast food. The drama will only serve to get you depressed and fatter. Simply getting on with it will solve the problem, rather easily if you don't make a big deal of it.

How to Stop the Drama

So when you feel yourself getting worked up about something — a coworker not pulling his weight, a spouse who isn't living up to your expectations, a son who isn't doing as well at school as you'd like — stop the drama.

Breathe. Let it go. Breathe in, taking in the peace of the world. Breathe out, and let the tensions and frustrations flow out of you. Repeat until the drama is gone.

And then simply be, in the moment, right now. When we get worked up about something, it's usually about something that has already happened (in the past) or something that might happen, that's coming up (in the future). Forget about all that right now (you can reflect on it later, when you're calmer and dispassionate). Right now, focus on what you're doing. This might be sitting in front of a computer, reading. Or walking. Or drinking a glass of water. Washing dishes. Driving. That's what you're doing, in the moment. That's all you should think about. As you feel your mind returning to the past or the future, return it gently to what you're doing right now. Trust me it takes a lot of practice but well worth the effort.

Simply get on with it. Do what you need to do to calmly address the situation. Deal with it, in as simple a manner as possible. Forget all the complications — just do.

Overwhelmed with too much to do? Breathe, focus on what you are doing right now, and just focus on getting that done.

Tired of your horrible job? Breathe, focus on now, and do what needs to be done to deal with it.

Annoyed by someone? Let it go. Focus on what you're doing, right now. And just get on with it.

If you start getting worked up again, start back at the first step.

Your 4 Pounds…

I don't know what you had for lunch today, but I had 18 apples.

What do you think of that? You probably think I'm a glutton and have the GI tract of a gorilla.

But check this – a typical fast food value meal has the same amount of calories as 18 apples.

18! So I wanted to see what would happen if I downed the same amount of calories from apples.

Not pretty.

Yet I've had buddies knock back 2 value meals while watching Monday Night Football.  And no, I haven't seen any of them go through a bag of red delicious by the 4th quarter.

What does this tell me?  Well, it tells me that Mother Nature has got your back.

Remember:

• Real food regulates appetite – so you don't overeat
  
• Real food controls blood sugar/insulin – so you can avoid energy swings and diabetes
  
• Real food provides the best nutrition – so you can remain healthy for life
  
• Real food has a sane amount of energy – so that you can't accidentally overeat
  
• Real food has a longstanding relationship with our body – so that our bodies know what to do with it
  

Energy density

This leads me to the world of energy density. Are you familiar with it? It's the amount of energy (calories) per unit of food. Let me explain.

This is 200 calories of melon. This is a lot of melon.	This is 200 calories of cheese. This isn't very much cheese.
This is 200 calories of celery. Good luck eating this.	This is 200 calories of a candy bar. Good luck NOT eating this.

Seeing a trend? It's hard to rack up excess energy (calories) from whole, real, calorie-dilute foods.

Food poundage

Interestingly, research shows that most humans eat around 3-5 pounds of food per day.  Indeed, as we approach 4 pounds of food intake for the day, most of us are feeling pretty satisfied.

Now, this can be 4 pounds of celery.  Or it can be 4 pounds of candy bars.  It's not the food or calorie content that matters.  It's the volume/poundage that counts.  And obviously, there are some big nutrient differences between celery and candy bars, right?

Now, let's take some extreme examples of this…

• 4 pounds of raw veggies will provide 400 calories
  
• 4 pounds of raw fruits will provide 1000 calories
  
• 4 pounds of cooked whole grains/legumes provides 1600 calories
  
• 4 pounds of nuts/seeds provides about 10,000 calories
  
• 4 pounds of Lucky Charms, Pop Tarts, Cheese provides about 10,000 calories
  

Note: I'm showing calories only as a measurement unit to help illustrate a point. Don't get wrapped up in the numbers.

People that struggle with body fat management tend to fill up on energy dense, processed foods. This means stored energy for later.

Translation: Fatness.

If we eat 4 pounds of energy-controlled, whole, real food – we get lots of nutrition with a calorie count that our body can handle.

What's our poundage portion?

Most people in the U.S. are consuming (on average) the following amounts of food each day:

2.0 pounds of meat, dairy and eggs

1.5 pounds fruits and veggies

0.5 pound grains

0.5 pounds added sugars, fats and oils

= 4.5 pounds

= about 3,700 calories per day

What if we switched this around?

2.5 pounds of fruits and veggies

1.0 pounds of grains and legumes

0.3 pounds nuts/seeds

0.3 pounds meat, dairy and eggs

0.1 pounds added sugars, fats and oils

= 4.2 pounds

= about 2,075 calories per day (this isn't really that much, especially if you're physically active.)

Putting it to the test

I'm curious: what does a day of my food weigh?

How much my day of food weighs = 3.7 pounds

Foods – Clockwise, starting in upper right

2 lentil burgers, steamed broccoli

Peaches & blueberries

Raw buckwheat granola with hempseeds and flax

Roasted garbanzos & Goji berries

Sprouted grain bread with peanut butter

Lettuce & kale

Celery, carrots, zucchini

Note: I was surprised it didn't weigh more. The actual food weighs less than 3.7 pounds, as the food containers contribute to the total weight. I left out condiments like salad dressing and mustard.

Oh, and this was just a random day of eating. Some days I eat more, some days less.

What have we learned today?

If we prioritize and eat nutritious, real, controlled energy foods – there isn't much room left for the energy dense, fake foods. You only have about 3-5 pounds to work with each day.

So… think about it…what are your 4 pounds made up of?

Til next time…

Schooling?!

"Our culture lies. They say they want to encourage and reward individuality and creativity, but in practice they try to hammer down the pointy parts, and shame off the different parts." – Sandra Dodd

I know this post will be a departure from most of the things that I write about, but this is something that I'm passionate about – education; what and how we are trying to teach our kids.

Going through the traditional school system was never my favorite thing as a kid, but as a parent, I've grown to realize that the whole system is upside down.

Not the system of any particular state or nation, but system of education as a concept.

Traditionally, schools use this model:

• Decide on what kids need to know to prepare them for adulthood.
  
• Prepare a curriculum based on this.
  
• Give students a schedule based on this curriculum.
  
• Have educated teachers hand them the info they need, and drill them in skills.
  
• The student reads, memorizes the info, learns the skills, and becomes prepared.
  
• Students must follow all rules or be punished. This is actually more important than the info and skills, although it's never said that way.
  

Unfortunately, this isn't a great model. Mostly because it's based on the idea that there is a small group of people in authority, who will tell you what to do and what you need to know, and you must follow this obediently, like robots. And you must not think for yourself, or try to do what you want to do. This will be met with severe punishment.

This is ideal if you're going to be a corporate employee, and need certain skills in order to work for the corporation — mostly skills of obedience, actually. This isn't ideal for the workplace of the coming decade, when people are less likely to be employed by a large corporation, and more likely to work for themselves. And have to think and figure out things for themselves, what they want to do and when they want to do it. Let alone learn new things without a teacher.

Things are changing faster than ever before. Every month, new technology is announced that alters the way people work, or will work in the future, and we need to be able to learn and adapt to this ever-changing landscape.

How are we to do that? Or more importantly how are our children to learn to do that, if they have no authority telling them what they need to know, or how to learn, or what to do?

People often grow up to be competent learners, and achieve great things, after going through the traditional school system. But this is in spite of the system, not because of it. We are pretty adaptable people, inherently curious, and we can learn without an authority, but the current school system tries to beat this down. It usually fails to some degree, but to the degree it succeeds, it harms people.

Schools fail not because they don't impart knowledge or skills, but because they kill curiosity, smother excitement for learning, club down with a furious brutality our desires to be independent, to think for ourselves, to learn about things that actually interest us.

"I suppose it is because nearly all children go to school nowadays, and have things arranged for them, that they seem so forlornly unable to produce their own ideas." - Agatha Christie

But Teachers are great…

Yes, I agree, they are. A very good friend of mine is a middle school teacher, of English, and she worked tirelessly with her students' interests at heart. She really wanted to teach them to love reading, and did everything in her power to do so. Unfortunately, she constantly frustrated by the authoritarian nature of school administration, and will soon be leaving that particular district maybe even teaching.

My great grandmother was a teacher for decades. My aunt was and my cousin is a teacher, of elementary and middle schools and both were wonderful at getting kids to love reading. I love teachers, and have the highest respect for them.

I just think they're in a system that doesn't work. That cannot work, given the nature of what the world has become.

How can we prepare children for a future we cannot foresee? How do we know what skills they will need, what knowledge will be important, in 10 years, or 15? We have no idea what the world will be like then. I sure don't. Do you? Does anyone know how people will be working 15 years from now?

I submit this is impossible. And what's more, it always has been impossible. The workplace now is vastly different than it was when I was a lad in short pants four decades ago running around in the schoolyard, wiping snot from my nose and learning about the Cold War. People then didn't have computers in the workplace, at least not most of them, and those who did have computers didn't have anything resembling what we have today. Most people used electric typewriters, and fax machines weren't in offices yet. Fax machines?!

So yes, I love teachers, and think they are incredible at what they do. What I think they need to do, though, is not be teachers, but facilitators.

Don't direct learning, because when students grow up they won't be directed in their learning, they'll be self-taught. Think about it: when you learn things today, as an adult, do you learn from a teacher, or do you learn things on your own? And isn't learning on your own more fun? Don't you love learning new things? Doesn't that make the learning stick with you for longer than when you had to memorize things in school?

What we learn in school isn't nearly as important as HOW we learn, because how to learn is the lesson of school.

"The founding fathers in their wisdom decided that children were an unnatural strain on their parents. So they provided jails called school, equipped with tortures called education." - John Updike

How to learn…the way we're taught to learn is as receivers of information, non-thinkers. Follow the rules. Read pages 100-132. Do the exercises. Memorize the information. Spit it out in a test. Do this project, because we tell you to, not because it's fun or interesting.

The way we need to be taught to learn is completely different. It's this: learn about what interests you, gets you curious, and gets you excited. Figure out where to get the information you need. Read about it, talk to someone about it, and find out about it. Try it. Do it, make mistakes. Figure out how to correct the mistakes. Figure out how to solve the problems you encounter. Repeat.

In other words, find problems that interest you, and figure out how to solve them.

Sometimes, you'll have to solve problems that aren't so interesting, just to solve problems that do interest you. That's OK. That's how things work.

And here's a secret: we already know how to do this. From birth. This method of learning is innate in all of us. It's built in.

When a toddler wants to do something, like get a stash of chocolate you've hidden on top of the fridge, he'll figure it out. He'll find ways to move a chair to the fridge, or climb up onto a counter near the fridge, in order to get the candy. Along the way he'll learn a thing or two about cabinet doors and fridge doors and why you shouldn't lean too far in one direction on a chair if you don't want to fall and get bruises.

When a kid wants to play a video game, he'll learn things like how to set up and turn on the Xbox, how to navigate menus, how to get started with the game, how to convince his mother that he'll clean his room later and that his homework is pretty much all done so that he can play the game now.

Kids know how to solve problems, when they want to do something.

We don't need to teach them to learn. We need to get out of their damn way.

And that's the problem with schools. They can't motivate kids to learn, because they're forcing it. They're trying to impart on them a rigid system of authority that kids naturally rebel against. In fact, this is the main problem kids face, and they come up with all kinds of incredibly creative ways to solve it, from skipping school and smoking pot to drawing incredible doodles in notebooks instead of listening to a history lecture to finding ingenious ways to communicate with peers, through technologies like texting and iPhones and through old technologies like passing notes and so on.

Creativity isn't dead in our kids. It's alive, but it's being marshaled to beat the forces that are beating them down.

"No use to shout at them to pay attention. If the situations, the materials, the problems before the child do not interest him, his attention will slip off to what does interest him, and no amount of exhortation of threats will bring it back." - John Holt

I think it's time to turn education on its head.

So how should we prepare our kids for tomorrow? Better people than I have written on this. It's pretty much just getting out of the way of kids. Let them learn about what they want to learn about, and you know what? They'll actually care about what they're learning, because they chose it themselves. They'll get excited about things, something schools usually fail to achieve.

They'll learn how to deal with the delicious problem of freedom, a problem most kids don't have these days. They'll get some hands-on, down-and-dirty experience with autonomy, something they'll have in spades as adults.

But what if they watch TV or play video games all day? What if they aren't interested in math or science and never learn them? What if they're totally unprepared for the workplace?

I'll just say a couple things. One, we need to relax and not look at childhood as a time when every minute needs to be filled up with rigid rules and learning. It's a time that should be enjoyed, and kids should play, and in playing they'll learn. They'll learn to play well and work well with each other. They'll learn how to figure things out for themselves. They'll learn to love the lovely freedom and its associates, autonomy and responsibility and choice and time management and, yes, passion.

Two, remember what we talked about above: we have no idea what the workplace of the future will be, so stop worrying about preparing them for that. In fact, stop worrying so much. Let kids learn how to learn, and learn how to be excited about things. That will prepare them for the future.

Three, also realize that we don't need to be hands-off. We can be hands-on, if we're facilitators instead of directors or dictators. We can help kids find things they're interested in, expose them to worlds of fun (like science and math), teach them games that they might like, help them solve problems so they'll learn how to do it on their own, guide them to resources and people who will give them mountains of information. Be there for them, as guides.

This is a huge topic, and one that I can't adequately cover in one post. I'll do another post sometime, but for today, I just wanted to throw out some thoughts on schooling, and get you riled up a bit perhaps. We could all use some good riling now and then, I think.

"To trust children we must first learn to trust ourselves…and most of us were taught as children that we could not be trusted." - John Holt

Til next time…

—

More thoughts on exercise....

You are never too unfit, too young or too old to begin proper exercise program. Regardless of your age, gender or role in life, shape or size everyone can benefit from regular physical activity.

Getting moving is a challenge because today physical activity plays a very small role in our daily lives as there are fewer jobs that require physical exertion. We have become a society who is reliant on technology and machines rather than physical strength to perform our work and to get around.

In addition, we have become mainly observers with more people (including children) spending their leisure time pursuing just that - leisure which usually doesn't involve physical activity. Consequently, statistics show that overweight and obesity, along with the problems that come with it (high blood pressure, diabetes, stroke, etc.), is on the rise.

Today, there is a growing emphasis on looking good, feeling good, staying as young as possible and living longer. It has been well proven that one of the keys to achieving these ideals is fitness and exercise. But if you spend your days at a sedentary job and pass your evenings watching television, it may require some determination and commitment to make regular activity a part of your daily routine.

To achieve a higher level of fitness, strength, health and wellness requires a sustained, commitment to regular exercise. Without this commitment, other priorities take over and consume our time. It is way too easy to put our exercise program on hold when something else comes up.

Sometimes this is unavoidable but when you find yourself putting your program on hold for months (until it gets warmer) or even years (when the kids are in school), then you are waiting too long. If not now, when will you really be less busy - next year?

A commitment to regular physical activity is a commitment to yourself and those you care about and that care about you. The difference between people who do reach their health and fitness goals and ones who do not is that successful people are willing to do the things that are necessary to reach those goals.

Firstly, you need to identify the habits and beliefs that are holding you back from accomplishing your goal. It is therefore important to identify these habits in order to plan a realistic strategy to eradicate the old habits and create new ones.

It is not necessary to pressure yourself to be perfect, all we should look for is improvement and we all have to start somewhere. So start where you are.

Even changing the way you think is a positive step towards new health and fitness goals. Demand a little bit more of yourself with each passing day. Work at making it a habit to think only positive things, work at making it a habit to reach your goals. Creating new habits, new plans, and new beliefs is what will get you to your goals.

Once you become aware of the power you really have, overcoming obstacles will be easier. After a few successes, your confidence will grow and it will be even easier to reach further towards your health and fitness goals.

Just remember that in any area of life you can have excuses or experiences, reasons or results. Your mind is a powerful thing so use it positively and allow it to help you develop self discipline. Make your exercise time a priority; schedule it into your diary like any other appointment and don't let anyone or anything get in the way.

You will be rewarded with loads of energy, new found strength and a vibrancy that only the fit seem to have. You will also find you have an inner sense of well being deep inside you that confirms you are doing all you can to look after yourself.

Til next time...

new friends....

Now that I have some time off to reflect I'm going to start to learn more about the rest of the world. I've spent 30 plus years delving into the science of the body. From cellular physiology to psychology. From traditional western medicine to a more spiritual mind/body energy medicine. It's been an interesting and eclectic ride, but there is just so much more to explore...


When I was in high school I was humbled by a group of folks - I guess we would call them nerds now days but in truth I was intimidated by the literature crowd. According to the dictionary the word nerd refers to a person who passionately pursues intellectual activities, esoteric knowledge, or other obscure interests rather than engaging in more social or popular activities. Hey, if that is true then I was a nerd! It's just that enjoyed a good party every once in a while.

Yet in high school those "nerdy" types scared me with their 40 dollar multi-sylabic words. There were times that I could hold my own especially when history was involved, but when they started to discuss the deeper sides or Shakespeare, Solzhenitsyn, Voltaire or even Vonnegut just about every spincture in my body would pucker up. At the time I didn't feel like I could understand or learn this literature stuff... which is strange because I really do enjoy history and they do seem to go hand in hand.

But I have found that my interest in history and literature has been peeked again. It's really the fault of a 20 something who has quite a knack for explaining history. (Who says an "old man" can't learn at an advanced age!) What she does that is so critically important for my brain is that she has this ability to make the past come alive. I find that a whole new world is opening up to me and a different part of my brain is starting to work. Let me give you an example of how history tickles my fancy.

Sir Francis Bacon, made the ultimate sacrifice - He died in the quest for knowledge, and was for sure a martyr to the cause. I hadn't remembered too much about Bacon from school, except that he's suspected by some to be the "real" Shakespeare.

My guess is that he also wore a huge ruffled collar. And they say blogs aren't informative. Apparently, Bacon, a 17th century intellectual and politician had a troubled public life. He was convicted of taking bribes in 1621 and thrown into the Tower of London. His defense: yes, he took bribes, but they didn't affect his judgement.(And here we thought we had that king of thing cornered in Chicago). As a scholar, he wrote cleverly about language and the philosophy of science.

But my favorite about Bacon, the one that will stick with me, is how he died. It happened in March of 1626, north of London. Bacon was riding along in his horse and carriage when he suddenly decided he needed to know whether snow delays putrefaction. So he abruptly stopped his carriage, hopped out to buy a hen, and stuffed it with snow. Unfortunately, this caused him to be seized with a sudden chill, which brought on bronchitis, and he died soon after at a friends house.

To me this is a Nobel anecdote. Okay, it's a little embarrassing that his death involved frozen poultry. And maybe he displayed a touch of sadism - I'm just hoping the hen wasn't alive when he rammed snow into its gullet. But then there is something great about it. Bacon had such an itch for knowledge, he was so giddy about an idea, that he just went bonkers and bolted out of his carriage. The man couldn't wait another second to find out more about antiputrefaction techniques. I mean seriously, if your are going to give you life for a cause, furtherance of knowledge has got to be in the top two or three.

As opposed to Jeremy Bentham who was a British ethical philosopher who advocated the greatest good for the greatest number of people - died in 1832. After his death, in accordance with his directions his body was dissected in the presence of his friends. The skeleton was then reconstructed, supplied with a wax head to replace the original (which had been mummified), dressed in Bentham's own clothes ans set upright in a glass-fronted case. Both this effigy and the head are preserved in University College, London. I'm not quite sure how this contributes to the greater good of mankind - but I give him props for creepiness!

Hey this history stuff can be fun. And you never know what you might learn. Thanks Ash..
Til next time...

I’m back…

We live in an information overloaded society. There has not been a moment in history when information has been this available, right at our fingertips. By typing one simple phrase, we now get hundreds, thousands, sometimes even millions of answers to our most desired questions. And now it seems, because of the abundance of information available to us, that a lot of us are confused.

No more confusing has been our struggle with living excessively. As a result, many of us are in debt, have too much stuff and are overweight.

There are too many questions on how to exercise, how to eat, or how to live healthily - cardio or weights? How much protein? Does fat make me fat? Will sit-ups give me abs? Am I going to get big, bulky muscles?

I don't profess to know the answer to EVERY question out there, but I do know that all things being equal, the simplest answer is most likely the right one. That holds true in life as much as it does in weight loss, exercise and general health.

So in saying that, I have devised a list of The 7 Essential Rules to Optimal Health.

You may read these rules and be turned off that I'm insulting your intelligence. But let's face it, now more than ever, do we need to get back to the basics in order to save our waning, unhealthy & obese society.

We've veered off the path of "simple" and have really made things more complicated than they are.

1. Eat REAL Food.

For a busy population who doesn't have time to count calories or how many grams of protein or how much sodium or saturated fat, this is your answer to health and weight loss.

Anything that Mother Nature put on this earth in its simplest form is real food - unpackaged, unprocessed, unpreserved fruits, vegetables, legumes, naturally raised meat & fish. Steak from a critter that has been allowed to eat from a pasture, not an all-beef hot dog. Water, not soda. Apples, not apple fritters.

Here's the truth … if you eat nutritious real food then your body feels nourished and doesn't feel the need to consume more. If you eat the common processed food products of today with empty calories and little to any nutrition value, then your body needs to 1) work harder to digest and assimilate what you've eaten thus using energy 2) still feel hungry because what you've eaten provides no nourishment and 3) throw your systems out of whack because your body has no idea what you just ate.

2. Live Life Actively.

Our society was the healthiest when there were no such things as treadmills, ellipticals and Pec Decks. We used the gym to support our activities (like what athletes do). We rode our bikes, skied, surfed, played pick-up basketball and walked everywhere.

Now, we go to the gym. We run on treadmills like rats in a cage, partake in bodybuilding programs that give us bulky, "unuseable" muscles and create imbalance & injury, and do aerobic classes that give us little to no benefit with the way we look.

As our society transitioned from an active culture to a gym-going culture, obesity, heart disease and diabetes slowly started to increase. Coincidence? Maybe. But staying active and trying new things - playing a sport, going for a hike, being active with family, playing Frisbee with the dog- never killed anyone.

Ask yourself these questions…When was the last time you got excited to go to the gym (to actually workout, not to see the hot aerobics instructor or personal trainer)? And what about when you knew that the weekend was just around the corner and you were going to the beach to play some volleyball? Or out to the golf course with your buddies to play 18 holes?

Live actively and use the gym to support your efforts.

3. Get outside.

This goes hand-in-hand with the point above.

True that some of us live in a climate that isn't always conducive to outdoorsy things. Hogwash.

Unless it is 110 degrees in the shade or sub-Arctic temperatures outside, there are always options for us to be active outdoors - even if it's just for a walk after dinner. Our bodies crave the outdoors and being with nature. It's hard-wired into our systems. Being outdoors gives us a feeling of freedom and calm that no gym, mall or office building could ever provide for us.

4. Constantly strive to improve in order to see change.

If you are doing the same thing, day in and day out (lifting the same weights, running the same distance for the same time, etc) without any change or improvement, then nothing is going to happen to your body.

Your body wants to stay the same, and it is only when you decide to venture outside of your comfort zone that you will actually see any improvement - and that rule holds true with life as much as it does with exercise. Set goals, break records and constantly strive to get better. If you ran 5km in 30-minutes yesterday, then the next time out, aim for 29-minutes. If you did 10 push-ups yesterday, then aim for 11 the next time you attempt them.

Force yourself out of what's comfortable and you will change - both in body and in mind.

5. Get some sleep.

Often the "missing link" to everyone's weight loss quest is their lack of quality sleep. (This tends to be where I fall off the wagon.) Healthy adults require 7-9 hours of uninterrupted, good quality sleep EVERY night. Yea sure you say! But really, sleep helps regulate your hormones. It kills off bad bacteria that have accumulated in your gut throughout the day and it's the primary time for your body to repair its tissues - especially your muscles. Don't get enough of it and your immune response will suffer (your ability to fight off disease & sickness), you gain belly fat (because of the higher amounts of the hormone cortisol) and you'll experience lows in energy.

6. Practice Active Recovery.

This is the Yang to intense exercise's Ying and is probably the most overlooked rule. You were not designed to "go hard" 100% of the time.

Regardless of what you may believe, exercise, with all its benefits to your body and health, is still stress. Any response that produces an adrenalin rush will also produce a stress response in your body. Because of this, we must balance our intense exercise activities with calming, stress management exercises. Traditional yoga, tai chi, qi gong or some form of deep breathing or meditation are the most common examples of ways to handle stress.

Try to incorporate at least one of these activities into your weekly (if not daily) practice. Only a few minutes of deep breathing or mediation is all you need to regain balance move on with your day without anxiety or nervousness.

7. Use Natural Movements.

There are 5 natural movements - Squatting, Lunging (which includes walking & running), Pushing, Pulling & Rotation. If you want to save time, increase your results and live healthy, then all your exercises should incorporate at least one, if not more, of these movements.

Is there a need to stand in front of a mirror holding dumbbells and lifting them up to the side while standing on a ball? No. Is there a need to sit on a machine, strapped in and squeeze your thighs together or push them out? No. These movements are unnatural. They force you to break your body up into individual parts, when in truth, your body operates as a network of nerves, bones and muscles to move you and the objects you lift or carry from Point A to Point B.

Exercise naturally, move naturally, and you'll be more healthy.

So Now What?

Use the above rules as a checklist and try to incorporate and adhere to one rule per week, introducing a new rule each time you have mastered one.

Try not to get overwhelmed. This isn't a "shotgun" approach. We've gotten away from the basics of health and it will take time to get back. Just keep at it and be consistent and you'll get there.

Til next time…

What the heck is an "A-ak"?

Humm...

I was handed the first volume of the Encyclopedia Britannica the other day. We were cleaning out some shelves at work. It felt weighty...maybe even learned. Yet comfortable. When I cracked it open, the spine of the volume gave me a pleasant amount of resistance - something I've long forgot about while holding a real book - I read so much electronically now days. I was curious what was the first entry.

A-ak
A-ak, wtf is that? Here is the write up... "Ancient East Asian music. See gagaku. That's the entire article. Four words and then: "See gagaku."

What a tease! Right at the start, those way to smart for the room folks at Britannica have presented me with a dilemma... Should I dig into the pile and search for volume 6 and find out what is with gagku or move on in the A section?.... Don't see volume 6 nearby, let see what else is in the AA section. Of course if anyone else brings up "a-ak" in conversation between now and then I can play it cool, bluff and say "Oh, I love gagku!"

Next word, acapella - I knew that one, I had a friend in college that belonged to an acapella group - they sang songs from Def Leppard and called it Rockapella. Not bad one for two.

The next few entries destroy my average - I didn't even come close to recognizing the names of any Chinese generals or Buddhist compendiums. Aachen followed, but I got the wrong country - it is a German city that is home to Schwerbad-Quelle, the hottest sulfur spring in the country. Who knew?

I wonder should I be memorizing this stuff? I'll move on...

Aaron - the brother of Moses. Seems that he was sort of the Frank Stallone of ancient Judaism. The loser brother, the one that Mom didn't talk about too much. I can just hear it.."Oh Aaron? He's doing okay. Still finding his way. But back to Moses. Did you hear about the Red Sea?"

Hey this is cool stuff. I'm not Jewish, and really am a mix of religious training...probably got most of my religious lore for Charlton Heston movies - I wouldn't call my self observant, though out of respect I do have a light lunch on Yom Kippur. Hey maybe this could be my belated Hebrew school.... Nah.

Next.
Oh a bunch of Persian rules named Abbas, but then I get to these two familiar faces. "Abbott, Bud and Costello, Lou.", But any sense of relief fades when I learn about their sketchy past. Turns out that the famed partnership began when Costello's regular straight man fell ill during a gig at the Empire Theater in New York and Abbott who was working the theater's box office, offered to substitute. It went so well, Abbott became Costello's permanent partner. Well there is a cautionary tale, I'm never calling in sick again!

More facts, ABO blood group - hey did you know that stomach cancer is 20 percent more common in people with type A than those with type B or O. I'm type O, missed that one - however this just proves that reading this can be more disturbing than the tale of backstabbing Costello. Clearly I have to be prepared to learn some things I don't like!

Absalom - I knew about him getting his hair caught in the branches of an oak tree, which allowed his enemy, Joab, to catch and slay him. I figure this is why the army requires crew cuts. At least that is going to be my twist on it.

Oh and you can never forget the Acoemti, a group of monks who provided nonstop choral singing in the 5th century. They did it with a relay system-every few hours, a fresh monk would replace the exhausted monk. I love this image, though I'm glad I didn't live next door. We're talking 24 hour entertainment long before MTV went on the air. Quite possibly before Mick Jagger was born....

Reading this is much harder than I expected...but at the same time, in some ways, strangely easier. In some ways this is the perfect book for someone like me, who grew up on Peter Gabriel videos and has the attention span of a gnat on methamphetamines. Each essay is a bite sized nugget. Bored with Abilene, Texas? Here comes Abolitionism. Tired of that? The abominable snowman's lurking right around the corner -oh BTW, Britannica says that the Snowman's footprints are actually produced by running bears - I'm not convinced.

Reading Britannica is like channel surfing on a very highbrow cable system, the changes are so abrupt and relentless, you get mental whiplash. You go from depressing to uplifting, from tiny to cosmic, from ancient to modern. There is no segue, no local news anchor to tell you, "And now for the lighter side." Just white space, and boom you switched from theology to worm behavior. I don't mind though. Bring on the whiplash, the odder the juxtapositions, the better. That's the way reality is - a bizarre, jumbled-up Cobb salad. I love seeing the prophet Abraham rub elbows with Karl Abraham, a German shrink who theorized about the anal expulsive and phallic stages.

Oh yes, that another thing, just like Comcast cable, there is sex. It might not be Cinemax but it's got its fair share of randiness. I've learned that Eskimos swap wives. Achagua men have three to four spouses and flowers in the Acanthaceae family are bisexual! Now that is some racy stuff. Hot. Hotter than Schwertbad-Quelle sulfur spring. I expected Britannica to be prudish, but it seems quite happy to acknowledge the seamy world below the belt.

Titillating R-rated material, that is nothing compared to the violence! It's extraordinary how blood soaked our history is. One Persian politician was strangled by servants, another suffocated in a steam bath. Or Peter Abelard, and 11th century Christian theologian who, came up with some interesting ideas - namely that deeds don't matter, only intentions. You know the guy who coined the phrase "the road to heaven is paved with good intentions." Of course the article goes into great detail about his love affair with his student Heloise, which ended rather badly. Abelard suffered castration at the order of Heloise's outraged uncle. Maybe deeds do mater?!!

Sex, violence, MTV - all this makes my diversion in Britannica much more of an adventure and much cheaper than cable. Why don't you pick up a volume an see what you can learn.

Til next time...

Oh by the way, A-ak, is Korean court music - it is ritual music that is considered elegant it was imported from China. Not sure Madonna is going to record this anytime soon.

Life’s guidelines…

For those of you who know me I have been pretty public about the notion that I am going to live until 104. It's funny, but some of my friends' think that I am completely nuts thinking that I want to live to such and age; where others think it is pretty cool. Now you may ask, "How do I know that I am going to 104?" – I just do. I've always known it and it has been ingrained in my thinking all of these years - besides I have a great deal to do in the interim.

 

Well, I think I finally have the guidelines to make my goal. I was sent this via email and wanted to share it with you. Below, is a wonderful piece by Michael Gartner, editor of newspapers large and small and president of NBC News. A few years ago he won the Pulitzer Prize for editorial writing. It is well worth reading, and a few good chuckles are guaranteed.

Enjoy…

 

My father never drove a car. Well, that's not quite right. I should say I never saw him drive a car. He quit driving in 1927, when he was 25 years old, and the last car he drove was a 1926 Whippet.

 

'In those days,' he told me when he was in his 90s, 'to drive a car you had to do things with your hands, and do things with your feet, and look every which way, and I decided you could walk through life and enjoy it or drive through life and miss it.'

 

At which point my mother, a sometimes salty Irishwoman, chimed in: 'Oh,

bull----!' she said. 'He hit a horse.'

 

'Well,' my father said, 'there was that, too.'

 

So my brother and I grew up in a household without a car. The neighbors all had cars – the Kollngses, next door had a green 1941 Dodge, the Van Laninghams across the street a gray 1936 Plymouth, the Hopsons two doors down a black 1941 Ford -- but we had none.

 

My father, a newspaperman in Des Moines, would take the streetcar to work and, often as not, walk the 3 miles home. If he took the streetcar home, my mother and brother and I would walk the three blocks to the streetcar stop, meet him and walk home together.

 

My brother, David, was born in 1935, and I was born in 1938, and sometimes, at dinner, we'd ask how come all the neighbors had cars but we had none.

 

'No one in the family drives,' my mother would explain, and that was that. But, sometimes, my father would say, 'But as soon as one of you boys turns 16, we'll get one.' It was as if he wasn't sure which one of us would turn 16 first.

 

But, sure enough, my brother turned 16 before I did, so in 1951 my parents bought a used 1950 Chevrolet from a friend who ran the parts department at a Chevy dealership downtown.

 

It was a four-door, white model, stick shift, fender skirts, loaded with everything, and, since my parents didn't drive, it more or less became my brother's car. Having a car but not being able to drive didn't bother my father, but it didn't make sense to my mother.

 

So in 1952, when she was 43 years old, she asked a friend to teach her to drive. She learned in a nearby cemetery, the place where I learned to drive the following year and where, a generation later, I took my two sons to practice driving. The cemetery probably was my father's idea. 'Who can your mother hurt in the cemetery?' I remember him saying more than once.

 

For the next 45 years or so, until she was 90, my mother was the driver in the family. Neither she nor my father had any sense of direction, but he loaded up on maps -- though they seldom left the city limits -- and appointed himself navigator. It seemed to work.

 

Still, they both continued to walk a lot. My mother was a devout Catholic, and my father an equally devout agnostic, an arrangement that didn't seem to bother either of them through their 75 years of marriage. (Yes, 75 years, and they were deeply in love the entire time.)

 

He retired when he was 70, and nearly every morning for the next 20 years or so, he would walk with her the mile to St. Augustin's Church. She would walk down and sit in the front pew, and he would wait in the back until he saw which of the parish's two priests was on duty that morning. If it was the pastor, my father then would go out and take a 2-mile walk, meeting my mother at the end of the service and walking her home. If it was the assistant pastor, he'd take just a 1-mile walk and then head back to the church. He called the priests 'Father Fast' and 'Father Slow.'

 

After he retired, my father almost always accompanied my mother whenever she drove anywhere, even if he had no reason to go along. If she were going to the beauty parlor, he'd sit in the car and read, or go take a stroll or, if it was summer, have her keep the engine running so he could listen to the Cubs game on the radio. In the evening, then, when I'd stop by, he'd explain: 'The Cubs lost again. The millionaire on second base made a bad throw to the millionaire on first base, so the multimillionaire on third base scored.'

 

If she were going to the grocery store, he would go along to carry the bags out -- and to make sure she loaded up on ice cream. As I said, he was always the navigator, and once, when he was 95 and she was 88 and still driving, he said to me, 'Do you want to know the secret of a long life?'

 

'I guess so,' I said, knowing it probably would be something bizarre. 'No left turns,' he said.

 

'What?' I asked.

 

'No left turns,' he repeated. 'Several years ago, your mother and I read an article that said most accidents that old people are in happen when they turn left in front of oncoming traffic. As you get older, your eyesight worsens, and you can lose your depth perception, it said. So your mother and I decided never again to make a left turn.'

 

'What?' I said again.

 

'No left turns,' he said. 'Think about it. Three rights are the same as a left, and that's a lot safer. So we always make three rights.'

 

'You're kidding!' I said, and I turned to my mother for support.

 

'No,' she said, 'your father is right. We make three rights. It works.' But then she added: 'Except when your father loses count.'

 

I was driving at the time, and I almost drove off the road as I started laughing. 'Loses count?' I asked.

 

'Yes,' my father admitted, 'that sometimes happens. But it's not a problem. You just make seven rights, and you're okay again.'

 

I couldn't resist. 'Do you ever go for 11?' I asked.

 

'No,' he said.' If we miss it at seven, we just come home and call it a bad day. Besides, nothing in life is so important it can't be put off another day or another week.'

 

My mother was never in an accident, but one evening she handed me her car keys and said she had decided to quit driving. That was in 1999, when she was 90. She lived four more years, until 2003.

 

My father died the next year, at 102.

 

They both died in the bungalow they had moved into in 1937 and bought a few years later for $3,000. (Sixty years later, my brother and I paid $8,000 to have a shower put in the tiny bathroom -- the house had never had one. My father would have died then and there if he knew the shower cost nearly three times what he paid for the house.)

 

He continued to walk daily -- he had me get him a treadmill when he was 101 because he was afraid he'd fall on the icy sidewalks but wanted to keep exercising -- and he was of sound mind and sound body until the moment he died.

 

One September afternoon in 2004, he and my son went with me when I had to give a talk in a neighboring town, and it was clear to all three of us that he was wearing out, though we had the usual wide-ranging conversation about politics and newspapers and things in the news. A few weeks earlier, he had told my son, 'You know, Mike, the first hundred years are a lot easier than the second hundred.'

 

At one point in our drive that Saturday, he said, 'You know, I'm probably not going to live much longer.'

 

'Why would you say that?' He countered, somewhat irritated.

 

'Because you're 102 years old,' I said.

 

'Yes,' he said, 'you're right.' He stayed in bed all the next day.

 

That night, I suggested to my son and daughter that we sit up with him through the night.

 

He appreciated it, he said, though at one point, apparently seeing us look gloomy, he said:

'I would like to make an announcement. No one in this room is dead yet.'

 

An hour or so later, he spoke his last words: 'I want you to know,' he said, clearly and lucidly, 'that I am in no pain. I am very comfortable. And I have had as happy a life as anyone on this earth could ever have.' A short time later, he died.

 

I miss him a lot, and I think about him a lot. I've wondered now and then how it was that my family and I were so lucky that he lived so long. I can't figure out if it was because he walked through life, or because he quit taking left turns.

 

Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the ones who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would most likely be worth it.'

 

So here is the deal, we don't always have to take left turns, we for sure can walk a little more and if it's a bad day, more than likely it can be put off to another day.

 

Til next time…

The two questions…

What do near-fatal incidents, self reflection and death all have in common? They all, for me at least, help to put life into perspective. Each of these offers a different view point, for example a close encounter might help us to realize what really matters to us and what isn't worth the stress. Similarly, self reflection can help us see where we may be wasting time or opportunities and how we can improve on that.

I don't know if it is just me, but when somebody I'm close to passes away, I cease worrying about all my little problems and stop thinking that the world owes me a favor. Instead, I feel inspired to make the most of this opportunity, because it can disappear at any time.

It is as if the illusion and distorted view I have of reality starts to sink away and things start to become clear.

Over the last year, quite a few people have passed away and moved on to some other place. Yet, up until very recently I never realized quite what it was about death that inspired me to take action in life and stop taking the things that matter to me for granted. The effects of this inspiration never seemed to last very long, but I was always curious about what it was.

After sitting down and pondering over this for a while, the answer hit me. I came across a very simple, yet elegant understanding for what was happening: I was aligning myself with truth.

That is it, the catalyst of life that hit me when someone close passed away. I was simply seeing reality in its true form. The truth that:

• The little problems we have in life really aren't that important
  
• Our time on earth is fragile and we should make the most of it
  
• This is it, this is life, right now
  

There were more things that became clear to me, but those are arguably the most important. Once I had this realization, I started to look at how I can apply this simple understanding of truth to propel me to take action in life. After all, simply telling ourselves to "make the most of this opportunity" rarely results in some continued, effective, output.

I decided to look at my current situation and I formed two questions that helped me to really put things into perspective. I believe that everyone can benefit from answering these, the key being that you need to apply the principle of truth in your responses. If you don't, the only person you are fooling is you.

Question 1: If someone had a video tape of your typical day, what would they see?

I'm not talking about some bad habits you might have or an argument with a family member, instead I'm referring to your productive actions. Would they see you working hard at in your day job? Would they see you wasting time on irrelevant activities? Would they see you taking action or being complacent because you don't believe in yourself?

I don't know what it is about this question, but when I asked it to myself, the answer wasn't pretty. I realized that in my typical day I can let the smallest things get me down, I waste time checking email that doesn't need to be read, just to feel busy and so on. I take for granted the roof over my head, the food on the table and the abundance of clothes I can put on every morning.

"How you live each day is, of course, how you live your life"…anonymous

It is only through honest self-assessment through this question that you can realize where your shortcomings may lie. After that, it is down to you to take this realization and use it to help you take action and change things for the better.

Question 2: Based on your current actions and behaviors, where would you expect to be in five years?

Note that this isn't asking where you would like to be; this is taking into consideration your current efforts and looking at where you would expect to be. As with the previous question, answering this requires you being totally truthful.

Unlike my response to the first question, my answer to this was fairly positive. I took out a piece of paper and jotted down both the question and my response. My reply basically stated that I was heading in the right direction (I would continue to work for myself and try to help heal people through using my knowledge and inspire via my blog) but I could be doing much more.

"You can't escape the consequences of your actions." - Steve Pavlina

Because it is so easy and addictive I have found that I would often waste time on sites like Twitter, Facebook, StumbleUpon and even instant messaging clients. I decided to start to push these out of my life, and even set myself a 7-day self-discipline challenge where I would not use them at all. And I thought giving up sweets was bad.

If I kept up my current actions for the next five years then I might be maintaining a steady income and have helped thousands of people live up to their true potential. Yet, it would actually take the five years, whereas this is probably something I could do in the next one or two by focusing on clients in person rather than making contacts via social networking.

It is only through giving a truthful answer to this question that I can fix my flaws, rather than living in the illusion that I'm doing my best or everything is as good as it can be.

It may be the case that you're happy with the answers you've written down or worked out, and if so, congratulations. Keep doing what you're doing. On the other hand, I suspect a lot of people won't be proud of the results after honestly giving this exercise some thought. If that's you, then you've now taken the first and quite possibly the hardest step to rectify the situation and start creating the life you're meant to live.

I truly hope that everyone who has taken the time to really ponder over these internal enquiries has benefited from gaining a new, honest perspective about their lives. Now it's just up to change the things that you feel you should…

I've enjoyed writing over the last few years and hope you all stay tuned… Til next time.